Woots! I feel real recharged and energised now. Probably it's due to yesterday's speech day or was it the Meet-the-Parents? Either way, I'm feeling positive about ending school by doing well for the promos and so you gotta work it out! Like you did for the O Levels, but the method of studying gotta change. And I gotta seek help from my subject teachers and change the way I view everyday school life.
Because I know in the end, I'll find you. ☼
7:02 PM;
Yesterday was a day with so many emotions, happiness, exuberance, whoppiness, nostalgia, sadness, foreign-ness...tiredness. Alright, went back to Dunman after so many months and of course the old Dunman structure was still in my head, not updated yet. Then it was like so weird yesterday, the new Dunman I mean. The school has expanded and it's like quite confusing and foreign. Maybe because the construction is still on-going but still...the new hall did not have the old woody grand feel though the canteen became sort of cosy...
Felt so formal yesterday, wore the college blazer and skirt and black high heels just bought for the speech day. -_- Yesterday was also a crazy planned and unplanned day. What an irony, had to go for the Meet-The-Parents due to the slutty mid-year results after the speech day. And then I went out with Cindy, Pei Ji and Puay Suan to watch The Dark Knight; finally watched that, been harping on that for a while. Lol. The speech day ceremony was elaborate with the chinese dragon thing for good luck and the uniformed groups and performing arts group performing. Everything went by very fast maybe because I didn't want the day to end...snippets of many events from happily greeting past-classmates and teachers to walking into the new hall sweating a bit from the hot blazer, taking some pictures and finally seated into rows and listening to speeches by the Principal (goodness I missed her voice) and some important people and singing the school song! and collecting the award up on stage (a bit nervous when it was my turn because the last time I went up on stage to collect some award in primary school I dropped the award and tripped after going down the stage haha!) and happily taking pictures and talking and talking and watching the performance. So many things, too little time did not have the time to catch up with previous classmates and teachers and take enough pictures...
The number of dunmanites in Meridian...
The first teacher I talked to after receiving my award on stage and also my favourite teacher.
Amoi.
Cindyyyy.
Alwina!
Sam-seng girl in the middle.
And here are photos for Cindy, Amelin, Puay Suan and Alwina to kope. Remember to send me the photos in your cameras okay!
You know this girl? And then I changed too fast into home clothes after the ceremony while others were still taking pictures! Lol. Forgot to take full length shot ah, I felt so tall wearing the black high heels! =)
Tingalingaling!
Fionana, Wan Tenggg, Amoi, Daphne!, Chiaaaa.
Dunman bestows, knowlege the torch of life. Will remember all the Dunman things. Will miss you, Dunman and will still do, even after many years, a decade or a few in life.
12:12 PM;
{Friday, July 25, 2008}
Why I still miss you. I know why. I'm still dumb, I know.
7:36 PM;
{Monday, July 21, 2008}
Oh my!!! I'm so intrigued by sign language now in songs. Happened to see a music video on Truly Madly Deeply in sign language. Oh my, I guess it's the ultimate love expression, using sign language to express self in songs! Remember the new way of serenading to someone haha.
7:34 PM;
{Saturday, July 19, 2008}
I like Savage Garden a lot a lot. =) Because of the Truly Madly Deeply song and the way the artist Darren Hayes sings, I like their songs a lot a lot, the lyrics so full of poignancy and meaning and soul.
... And she takes another step Slowly she opens the door Check that he is sleeping Pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor Been up half the night screaming now it's time to get away Pack up the kids in the car Another bruise to try and hide Another alibi to write Another ditch in the road You keep moving Another stop sign You keep moving on And the years go by so fast Wonder how I ever made it through And there are children to think of Baby's asleep in the backseat Wonder how they'll ever make it through this living nightmare But the mind is an amazing thing Full of candy dreams and new toys in another cheap hotel Two beds and a coffee machine But there are groceries to buy And she knows she'll have to go home Another ditch in the road You keep moving Another stop sign You keep moving on And the years go by so fast Wonder how I ever made it through Another bruise to try and hide Another alibi to write Another lonely highway in the black of night But there's hope in the darkness You know you're going to make it Another ditch in the road Keep moving Another stop sign You keep moving on And the years go by so fast Silent fortress built to last Wonder how I ever made it
11:32 PM;
{Wednesday, July 16, 2008}
Ah, the taste of life-saving failure once again. This year doesn't seem to be the athelete year, had to re-take NAPFA thrice to get Silver and now I guess I'll have to retake the Bronze Medallion another time which equals to the third time. Damn, it's a must to re-take or else I'll have to drop out of the cca. Alright...yesterday was a shagging day although there's like no word like shagging, hit the bed only at 12 midnight and you can imagine how naggy and 'losoh' the instructor was at the practical (waterworks), theory and CPR. Started at 6pm and ended at about 11pm. Yeah, it was the same 'losoh' instructor who sadly told me and my life-saving partner that we didn't pass. He's a nice guy. Sort of. I guess it's my fault for not swimming laps of freestyle during training and only to trust having a good meal before it will give me enough energy for swimming freestyle damn fast for a full lap. -_- Oh well. Didn't pass the timing so must retake the waterworks...oh well, at least I got the CPR cert, but oh well, I feel so loser in life-saving. Ah hah.
7:41 PM;
{Monday, July 14, 2008}
Literature-S Math-U History-E General Paper-D Chinese-B Economics-U
S is for Special, U for Utopia, D for Dunmanite, E for Exciting, B for Bull. Ha. SUEDBU sounds like pretty girl in hokkien. -_- Serves me right for putting in minimum effort.
8:58 PM;
{Sunday, July 13, 2008}
I did a terrible thing today. The constricted feeling in me overwhelmed me and caused me to flare up when my mom threatened to not let me buy a new ipod as my ipod mini died a sad face the first time I dropped it a week ago. I felt prejudiced; when my brother wanted to buy a tv, they immediately bought it for him. Have been harping on the ipod for a week now. So I felt so restrained being cooped up in the house all the time, I grabbed any pieces of clothing and my bag and off I flew out of the house without looking back. Oh, I made my mom pissed off more when I took cash from them. Became a bad girl, a bitch. My mom is correct though. I'm a bitch who does not have a habit of saving money because I have no weekly allowance or whatnot. Just-so-used-to-taking-money-from-parents-when-i-need-it bitch.
I felt scared once I went out of the house though. Didn't know where to go, what to do. A lost soul. Drifted to Tampines Mall and Century Square and sensed many wandering souls like me. Hoped to see someone but didn't. Felt so foolish. Must remind self that I'm not in a Korean Love Drama or whatnot. Saw some ex-dunmanites though. Wanted so badly to buy something at every shop, wanted so badly to go shopping but something in me didn't want to disappoint my parents too much. Just bought a dictionary and went home after drifting like a ghost.
Feeling rather relieved though and I guess it's the window shopping and temporary feeling of being carefree and independent...but the loneliness still looms ahead and guilt threatens.
9:40 PM;
{Friday, July 11, 2008}
I've been living with a shadow overhead I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed I've been lonely for so long Trapped in the past I just can't seem to move on I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away Just in case I ever need them again someday I've been setting aside time To clear a little space in the corners of my mind All I wanna do is find a way back into love I can't make through without a way back into love There are moments when I don't know if it's real Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration Not just another negotiation...
This song is supposed to be a happy song...but I feel so sad, so sad,... but I'm bravely holding back the tears.
11:03 PM;
If I am lost for a day try to find me All the things that I thought were so easy Just got harder and harder each day December is darkest, in June there's the light But this empty bedroom won't make anything right
Stay alive.
...
One day I'll be sand on the beach by the sea But I'll make a wish for you, when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky.
...
Tried rockclimbing today. Was swapped for the cca's physical training. The second time in my life doing rockclimbing. So it's like a new thing altogether again. And had cuts on my hands and arms...but won't die, like duh. Rockclimbing is actually not that height-scary after all. It's more of perseverance and mentality. Which is good.
I actually wrote a chinese poem??? Haha not for leisure but homework duh. I hope I didn't commit any atrocities in the grammar and structure 'cause it sounds a bit weird. Lol.
11:04 AM;
{Tuesday, July 01, 2008}
Metallic edges. Almost like a mirror...
I saw in the haze, his friend, a jocund and jolly well-rounded guy whose smile sticks in my head. Next to him, should be he. I can't see him though, just fragments of him; his smile, his dark eyes, the way he walks, some hallucinations of his voice...
I looked up. And everything around me is moving. You can't imagine how the heart wrenches with this reality. It's out of this world.
Woah. I really miss writing descriptive compos and narratives...
P.S. Okay been tagged by Nick to do a quiz haha it's been so long since I've attempted one.
1.What disappoints you the most? My family 2.Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket? Paris 3.What's your favourite thing to do? Shopping but there's so much more than that 4.Do you think money can buy happiness? Only temporary happiness 5.If you have a dream to come true,what would it be? Meet my future husband and get married =) 6.Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really, but I do believe in chemistry like 2 people just meet and can get along very well that kinda thing 7.What are you afraid to lose? Loved one/s 8.If you win a million dollars, what would you do with it? Save half of it and spend the rest of it on shopping and buying a nice terrace house by the beach with jacuzzi and small pool and of course treat my family and loved ones to a really good treat 9.What do you dream of doing in the future? Being a tai-tai =) Haha, okay maybe a psychologist/writer/journalist/... 10.List 3 good points of the person who tagged you. Sensitive, jokey, caring 11.Do you believe in fate? I really do. 12.What do you think is the most important thing in your life. Love as in relationships with family, friends and that one person 13.If it's the end of the world, what will be your last wish? To show literal love to my family and loved ones 14.If you had the chance to choose, would you like to go back in time? I would want to go back to my secondary school time and my childhood time 15.What is the ONE thing you want badly now? Inner peace 16.Do you have a pet? No... 17.What makes you happy? Doing things that will make me happy like shopping, daydreaming, listening to music, basically relaxing, doing novelty stuff, being with loved ones, friends...and being around people who make me laugh like mad 18.What type of person do you hate the most? A person who has hidden ill intentions and is out to get something from you while putting on a facade 19.Do you tell ppl how you feel when you're down? I don't. They will sort of know anyway by looking at my facial expressions lol... 20.What kind of present would you want for a birthday? A surprise present! =)Instructions:Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chatbox that he/she has been tagged. Tagged: Anyone who reads this Yeah. =)
5:19 PM;
be with myself
Affirmation
cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
sincerity..
triumphs and singing of the heart
in center
clarity
Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.
peace
Independence
Health
Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons
Love
Faith
Happiness
