heart on wings

{Friday, January 25, 2008}

Okay, I'm finally in the right shape and mind (but still a bit confused mind) to write this memorable post...

23rd Jan 2008 At night
I had a weird dream. In my dream, I could vaguely but clearly see the O Level results slip. Some B4 grades, I could remember...and I couldn't remember the rest of my dream...but I knew I woke up from the dream as I was crying. -_-

24th Jan 2008 10am
Skipped school, played truant because I didn't want to go to school on the day of collecting results. Called Ah Ma after I woke up and had a good talk with her on the phone.

Got online and chatted with some primary school friends and classmates, wishing them and all.

Went to bathe and get ready to meet En Yi, Xiao Qian for lunch before going to beloved Dunman.

Met together and had lunch at the food court. With anxiety overwhelming us, my hands felt cold and my lips turned pale and Xiao Qian had no appetite to eat but En Yi was okay. Lol. Although we heard good news from my junior that our school did very well...we were still feeling scared and nervous...we're thinking, what if we're the minority who did badly?

Reached Dunman and the makeshift canteen was already filled with lots of people. Felt all the more scared and anxious till I almost wanted to cry already...freaking out a bit. But was super happy that I was able to see all the Dunmanites again...for the last time. Talked a lot with Alwina because I didn't see her in school for 2 days and thought whatever happened to her and I talked a lot with my classmates yeah...wanted to cry when Amelin's father called me to kinda console me and Amelin...

For whatever reason that was kept hidden from us, almost all the female teachers, including the Principal, wore red clothes. And our bio teacher told us that it was a good day...and the presentation slide show began. Oh man, I will miss my Principal. She talked with her voice that can almost take all your troubles away, so soothing...and then she showed us the statistics on how well our school has done. The enthusiasm of everyone was almost tangible even though the makeshift canteen was open air. Yeah, and some tears rolled down at this point in time. So happy for the school and some of my classmates yet so scared to see my results.

About that time, I collected my results. Hastily signed and my bio teacher gave me the results slip. In my mind I was like, "Hey this doesn't make sense to me at all" because of anxiety. Then it seemed difficult to tear the stupid form properly in order to open it. Was crying while opening...okay this sounds so stupid now...then I opened it finally. I cried loudly (or was it a howl?)...I was shocked I guess? So embarrassing...I think one junior was shocked of my reaction and luckily, got Fiona to hug since she was standing beside me. Oh my goodness, thank you.

Yeah I was so shocked and happy that I got my favourite number for my L1R5. Seems like my mom's dream proved that dreams are opposite of reality? Lol. Couldn't control for crying tears of joy for about 15 minutes then some Dunmanites and teachers thought I was sad over my results...lol. And I promised my mom that I would call her once I knew my results but in the end, she called me (but I was still crying lol) yeah.

I told Mr Latiff that I will miss him and we shook hands. =) I shook hands with many of my classmates and Dunmanites too. And the best of all, I got the honour to hug my darling Principal.

My overreacted reaction upon seeing the results is because I was prepared to get at most a L1R5 of 15...yeah. Quite a lot of people got single digits too, the most popular number is 7 I think. Yeah but I'm so happy that I got 9 - 9/9/91 lol...

I felt really sad that it was the last time every Dunmanite was meeting again at Dunman...

The future still seems hazy at the moment...because I dunno which junior college to go. I even considered poly yesterday, which was crazy because I dunno exactly which course to specialise in. Ah, my dream college seems so near yet so far...but I'm feeling intimidated by it. Yeah so many mixed feelings, so many thoughts but I can't let them go...

9:29 PM;

be with myself


cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
triumphs and singing of the heart

in center


Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.


Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons


*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles


amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains


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