heart on wings

{Wednesday, November 29, 2006}

I chanced upon this website; thought it was dedicated to me. Lol.

Anyways, I need some love from my darling visitors so leave some love before you leave here will ya?

This message really got me thinking.
If you think it's just a feeling, go back and look again. - Windows Messenger Conversation Window
Yes, I went back and looked again, and all I got was a series of indescrible "electric shocks" in my heart. It was really painful, like so numbing and crawl-on-the-floor-suffering-in-silence pain. But I know time and other elements of life will do the trick. And laughter from my darlings and family.

9:23 PM;

First holiday activity: Gym-ing and swimming with darlings Xiao Qian, Fiona and Daphne today.

Today's really fun! As compared to other normal days. Okay, Xiao Qian came at 1 plus, and I was still having my lunch. Oopsie! So I occupied her with score sheets of My Memory, from Winter Sonata. Finally, Fiona and Daphne came at 2 plus. I guess they had a hard time finding my unit; all of them claimed that my house is really hard to find. -_- Oh and then we prepared ourselves for gym time. I didn't really burn a lot of calories today, because swimming was kinda the main item for today. I walked on the treadmill for half an hour and ran for 18 mins. And the total calorie burn is only 237. -_- Lol. But then Xiao Qian says that I'm an exercise freak; she's impressed that I can run non-stop for half an hour. -_- All of them eh, did not really sweat it out at the gym; I was the most sweaty. They eh walked on the treadmill, cycled and did the hand-and-feet movement thingy. Lol. Daphne thought I was running too fast; I ran on the speed of 8. Fiona kept on saying that the treadmill takes a long time to burn calories. Lol.

Okay, fast forward to swimming! Haha. This is the first time swimming since I came back from China. Lol. We walked back to my house to discover that the meatball, a.k.a. my brother, was fuming mad. He's pissed off because we spent an hour in the gym. Plus walking to and fro and all. He kept on nagging irritatingly that I'm a slowpoke, blah blah because I had to prepare my swimming things and change into my swimming costume and apply sunblock. Eh, I think I'm the slowest because Xiao Qian, Fiona, Daphne was already ready waiting for me when I was ready. Lol. Finally, we went down for swimming! Plus my brother, but didn't really see him during swimming because I think he's pissed off that we don't wanna play Ice and Water with him. Lol.(My darlings looked different when they wear swimming costumes. Lol.) First thing we did was to soak ourselves in the jacuzzi. Haha, then we swam out into the big pool. Swim and swim, kick and kick. Some splashing in the water and staying-underwater-for-the-longest competition. Then we swam to some sort of fountain?(heavy stream of water pouring down) Eh I just realized that my darlings don't dare to let that water go down onto their bodies and head. Haha, weird. We swam towards the volcano, then suddenly they claimed that the water is too deep.(1.5 metres) So we swam back, to and fro, and went back to the jacuzzi. When our bodies were contented with the water massage, we went over to the baby pool, with the volcano slide. Xiao Qian and I slid down with much difficulty. Guessed that we were too heavy for the slide or something or our costumes were not slippery; we could not move on the slide. So embarrassing, with little kids waiting irritably below for their turns. Fiona and Daphne didn't want to try the slide; guessed they like the water massage that massages your whole back. Yeah, must lie down. Lol.

Yes, our swimming thing was something like that. Oh yeah, other than that, loads of talking were involved. And laughing, and playing... It seemed that time passed really fast today, for after doing all the things mentioned above, it was already 5:40pm! So we got up and shiveringly went down to the public toilets at the clubhouse. Bathed and dressed and then I sent them off.

Fun , fun , fun! I think they got the swimming craze because they wanna go swimming at Tampines Swimming Complex tomorrow. Lol. At 9 plus, when the sun is fiercely out. Oh my, think about the sun tan! Speaking of that, my sunblock didn't really work as I'm a bit sunkissed. So are my darlings. Lol.

8:11 PM;

{Tuesday, November 28, 2006}

You Are 62% Perfectionist

You are a true perfectionist. You are both demanding of yourself and others.
While it's great to have goals and standards, they don't need to be sky high!
Are You a Perfectionist?

You are 93% Virgo
How Virgo Are You?

How You Life Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness.
You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.
How Do You Live Your Life?

Your Depression Level: 60%

You seem to have mild depression.
A lot of people fall into your range, and it's quite possible you don't need treatment.
If you've been feeling this way for a while, you may want to seek help.
Are You Depressed?

Your Body Image is 44% Unhealthy, 56% Healthy

You may think you have a normal body image, but you definitely don't.
While you may not have a serious problem, you obsess over your looks way too much.
How's Your Body Image?

You Are Very Thin

Your BMI is 17.2 - a healthy BMI falls between 18.5 and 25

Don't lose any weight. You already are quite slender.
You could even gain a few pounds if you wanted.
Indulge yourself every once and a while!

Don't agree? Blame the government standards we based this test on!
Do You Need to Lose Weight?

You Are An INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.
What's Your Personality Type?

You Should Weigh 135

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.
If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!
How Much Do You Weigh?

You Are A Romantic

You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.
Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.
Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.
Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!
Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Are 4: The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.

You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.

You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.

Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.
What Number Are You?

Your Birthdate: September 9

You are a born idealist, with more pet causes than you can count.
You prefer be around others, both when working and while relaxing.
Generous and giving, you believe you can change the world one person at a time.
You're open minded and tolerant. People feel like they can tell you anything.

Your strength: Your go-with-the-flow flexibility

Your weakness: Your flair for the over dramatic

Your power color: Pine green

Your power symbol: Circle

Your power month: September
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You Are a Kinetic Learner

You learn best by doing, and you have a talent for complicated, physical tasks.
You excel at athletics, drama, and fixing things.
You would be an excellent Olympic athlete - or a Broadway star!
What's Your Learning Style?

Your True Love Is a Pisces

Why you'll love a Pisces:

Selfless and intuitive, you are perfect for a Pisces that lives to love you.
You're sensitive enough to appreciate and explore the deep emotions of a Pisces.

Why a Pisces will love you:

You're generous and totally giving in relationships, something Pisces demands.
You are also dreamy enough to get lost in fantasy with Pisces, but realistic enough to stay grounded.
What Sign Is Your True Love?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.
What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You've Changed 60% in 10 Years

You've done a good job changing with the times, but deep down, you're still the same person.
You're clothes, job, and friends may have changed some - but it hasn't changed you.
How Much Have You Changed in 10 Years?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.
What Do People Envy About You?

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.
Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.
Are You Hot?

You Are 70% Thankful

You are a very thankful person - for both the big and little things in life.
Your optimism is powerful. Getting through hard times is fairly easy for you.
How Thankful Are You?

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen
Or lend a shoulder to cry on
You're there through thick and thin
Many people consider you their "best friend"!
What Kind of Friend Are You?

Your Learning Style: Unconventional and Insightful

You are very intuitive and ingenious. You're attracted to any field of study that lets you break the rules.

You Should Study:

Art history
Comparative religions
Eastern religion
What Should You Study?

You Are Surrealism

Dreamy and idealistic, you've created a world that is all your own.
It's very likely that you've either dabbled in drugs or are naturally trippy.
You are always trying to push beyond the boundaries of your culture and society.
You believe that art, love, and freedom can change the world.
What Art Movement Are You?

Your Life Is Worth...

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

9:40 PM;

Oh man, I think I caught the laughing bug real badly today. I went for the usual guitar practice and luckily, it's the kinda practice where the conductor isn't around. Luckily, because when all of the guitars are playing harmoniously together, a totally out-of-place laughter was heard by the whole ensemble. Then quite a number laughed at my laughter. Lol. You know why I laughed? Because I caught the laughing bug and many people caught my bug. Lol. Actually, I laughed because one of my seniors like to irritate people and the little junior beside me was sniggering. And some parts of the song sounded funny and when I looked at the little junior's almost laughing face, I laughed. Out loud. Gosh! =)

From then on, I kept on laughing. It's as if I haven't laughed for ages. I think I haven't, because I kept on laughing at every tiny thing today. And the bad part is not about my irritating laughter, but it seems as though quite a number of people started laughing today too. Weird and crazy. Like me. Lol.

I felt so light-hearted today. After all those crazy laughters. Sigh. I guess laughter's the real medicine?

"The grief that does not speak, whispers the overfraught heart and bids it break." - Macbeth

Yes, let it all come down.

9:13 PM;

{Sunday, November 26, 2006}

Holidays. Doesn't even sound/feel like it's the hols. Because all I did was to stay at home, do revision for the O Levels. Other than it, it's going to school for guitar practices. I wanna go out and do some major shopping. And I wanna cross out everything under my holiday plans. I wanna, but time forbids me to. It just goes too fast.

Luckily, I'm taking a breather now as my grandma is staying with us. So I can engage more in family activities other than facing the pile of school stuffs every single day. She's taking a mini vacation; staying with us for a few days. Lol. This morning, we created a lovely breakfast for everyone. I'll call it the eggy toast, with a dose or two of family love. This her signature breakfast, and I know how to make it too. Just crack raw eggs and add spices to it and then you dip the little pieces of bread into it and you fry the little pieces of bread. =) A cute and lovely breakfast for loved ones. It'll be perfect if the pieces of bread are heart-shaped. Heh.

Just a few minutes ago we were laying out in the open on picnic armchairs, looking up at the wide boundless sky with the lighted swimming pool in front of us. Lovely. I like the feeling of serenity and I like looking into the boundless sky. The sky seems so dark and thick. At first, I didn't see stars of any sort. But I stared into the sky, wishing that there'll be a star or two. Then I saw them. Actually they were always there, just that they were not as shiny to catch our attention. Those humble little stars, shy to show off their real power of light. Blinking at us bashfully, hoping against hope that one of us would be able to see them. The swimming pool seems lovely too, with lights on. The waters have turned into gentle shades of blue; the lights in the pool were dancing, twinkling, happily showing their brightness, unlike the humble stars.

Oftentimes I thought I heard the voices of the stars
Voices that make up the whisperings of the night
Oftentimes I thought I heard the lamentings of the wind
Sighs that accompanies the uncertainty of the night
Oftentimes I poured my heart out to the sky
Unspoken words that heartbreakingly fill up the sky
Oftentimes I thought I saw the moon with its glowing face
With kind, consoling words written all over its face.

Eeee. What a lousy poem.

I'm tired, really.

And I forgot to say that I've finally finished The Devil Wears Prada a week ago. Lol.

"Miss him in the way that you do when you've seen someone frequently and regularly but haven't really connected with him in any significant way." - The Devil Wears Prada

9:49 PM;

{Thursday, November 23, 2006}

Stupid meatball. He got an oh-so-higher-than-me aggregate of 241 for his PSLE. He effortlessly got it; during his mugging period, he was still playing his gameboy. And now I feel so inferior, a stupid aggregate of 234 when I mugged like hell. Because my parents are like, "Lousy. Your little brother beat you." "LOUSY." (Screw it, I hate it when people say I'm lousy, especially when your own parents are saying it.) And I had to tolerate the stupid meatball's cockiness. "HAHA. I BEAT YOUR AGGREGATE." I didn't feel inferior in the beginning, but a tinge of happiness for the meatball and also a pinch of why-is-it-that-he-can-do-better-than-me-when-he-didn't-put-in-as-much-effort.

But nevermind, I tell myself. I'll just treat it as a fuel to the burning passion to do extremely well for O Levels to get that 9 points I want. I must prove it to my parents that I am not a
hardworking-but-stupid girl. And I also want to wipe that smirk off the meatball's face. And of course, I must do that well so that I can enter Victoria Junior College and take Theatre Studies and Drama as an A Level subject. I WANNA!

The passion is burning within me and I must fulfill it.

9:17 PM;

{Wednesday, November 22, 2006}

Tomorrow's the Open House ceremony thingy for the Primary 6 kids and my CCA has to perform for the lil kids tomorrow. =) Hope that they will clap and enjoy the songs with us. Lol. The event makes me remember that my brother, a.k.a Meatball, is going to get his PSLE results tomorrow! And he's so cool about it, he's playing his darling Xbox 360 (my parents bought it for him before knowing the PSLE results! So I took this chance to ask them to get me ipod accessories. =) )

I just came back from the gym. I miss the gym, really, I haven't been going there since I came back from China. And today, I spent the longest time in the gym. An hour. Haha. Loved the feeling of sweat cascading down my body, it's definitely worth it. Loved me being light and bouncy after an hour at the gym, it's definitely worth it. Lost a grand total of 325 calories; spent half an hour walking at the speed of 6.5 and lost 107 calories; spent half an hour running at the speed of 8 and lost 218 calories. =) =) =) I just realized that I was the person who stayed the longest at the gym, and I was the youngest too. Heh. And I guess I'm the lightest person there too. =))

Don't call me a gym freak. Going to the gym makes you feel more alive and healthy. Even my darlings who loathe working out likes the gym now. =) And definitely, going to the gym guarantees you results. It's a better way of losing weight, as I have found out. (But still, you must watch your diet.) My results is that my relatives and family all conclude that I am skinnier. Didn't know that losing 2 kgs is visible, because I asked Cindy and she said I still look the same. Lol. Anyway, 3 cheers to me, because losing 3 more kgs is a goal I must attain by the end of the holidays. =)

Gym is a great companion. Gym gives me a sense of satisfaction by banishing all those evil fats. And best of all, Gym never fails to free me from all those negative thoughts, those overwhelming emotions.

I have found my remedy for emotional sickness.

P.S. I almost forgot to post that my mom has booked a barbeque pit on 10 December. Unfortunately, there's a limit to the number of guests you're inviting, maximum 20+ I think. Seems like I can't invite everyone I know then, aww. =( But if you're interested to go to my small get-together, with food and games, then let me know. So this is the reason I'm posting this up. =) For more details, contact me. Yay. I wanna have a nice nice get-together. =)

6:59 PM;

{Monday, November 20, 2006}

You might be wondering whatever major happened to me as it's been a week since I've updated on my life. I guess it's the lazy bug that has bitten me from tonnes of homework and loads of stuff to do during the holidays! Yes, finally, I can type 'Holidays'! =) =) =)

Although it's the holidays now, I'm feeling oh-so-tired. Like I'm experiencing another End-Of-Year examinations period. I wanna sleeep. SLEEP! Okay, I shall do a quickie update on my life now. Starting from Friday, the 17.

The last day of school for this year. And I remembered my solo existence after school for make-up lessons; empty library with silence filling up every space and corner, almost empty levels except for cleaners, etc. But somehow I liked that kinda silence. So new and mysterious. Heh. The last day of school. Wow, it's like so fast. I'm gonna face the big and oh-so-grand exam next year. I know why I am so sleepy now. Thinking about all the things I have to catch up or perfect on in preparation for next year just makes me wanna yawn. But I know the way of making myself alert and excited. Think about Victoria Junior College, think about Theatre Studies and Drama after a full year of full-blast mugging and crazy revision! They say only people who dare to dream and find means and ways to pursue their dreams become successful in life. So I have only one life, and I have to live it well. Live it to the fullest!

Oh I remembered, I went to Shafie's house for some get-together (not housewarming, lol) straight after dreaded guitar practice. I think he's born to be talented in organizing events or something, because I can't possibly invite 50+ people to my house and manage the whole event well. Heh? Why do I like to type heh now? Lol. Anyway, Shafie suggested that I should come up with a poolside party or something (barbeque party you mean, because nobody would want to swim in their swimming costumes in front of people) and he got some people excited about it that I got their excitement and I told my mom about it and she says yes, although there's a limit to the amount of people you're inviting. Oh well, this idea is under my To-Do Holiday Plans(at the end of this post) but I'm not sure about this idea as I suck at doing this kinda things because being such a perfectionist, it must be perfect. Like everyone's having the best of their times and all the atmosphere and etc, just like in the movies. Sheesh. Anyway, back to Saturday activities but tell me about the idea yeah? Like whether it sucks or rocks. Ha. Went to grannie's as usual. She cooked marvellous food as usual. Knowing that my health is not too good, she wanna buy some chinese herbal stuffs for me. Awww, I love her! =) And she promised to stay here with us next week! I hope she does! Yay.

I was supposed to have my Physics tuition, and oh by the way, I had my A Maths tuition on Friday and it was a new teacher teaching us! Acutally it's the boss of the tuition centre and the 'hunkie' teacher is gone! Aww, I prefer the "hunkie"'s way of teaching; the boss teaches like a snail. Haha, he's so funny, he can teach Permutations for 1 and a half hours, drawing and drawing and writing numbers. Haha. Yeah I was supposed to have my Physics tuition but it was cancelled so I got the whole day off! Finally I can breathe, not. Still had to revise for Chemistry Test on Monday, which is today, so ya all know why I'm so tired now. Yawn. But I remembered that my 2nd uncle, the cheeky one, came with his family for swimming and all! Been months since I seen him, and his little ones, Ha. And I'm surprised and happy that he said I look skinnier due to my cheekbones "sinking" in. I guess he's a bit dramatic, lol.

Went to school just for the Chemistry retest. Oh, now I know why I'm so sleepy. Has been waking up early in the morning either for school or for guitar practice or for chemistry revision. YAWN. And has been studying Chemistry since Wednesday, just for this day! I really hope I can decent grades for Chemistry!!! Like I got C6 in my report book, and I really hope I can get a B this time round. Because I love Chemistry. Heh. The retest was kinda easier than the End-of-Year exam, but the time is really tight. Like only 1 hour and 15 mins??? I was halfway through finishing my last question and time's up. !!! Oh well. But after the retest, I went straight home, and during the journey, I read my The Devil Wears Prada book. I'm not a freak, but I just wanna finish the book; I'm like still reading it even though I bought it months ago! And I wanna read many storybooks; it's another holiday plan. Haha. And in the afternoon, I went out with my mom and my brother for lunch. And after that, my mom and I did a little window shopping while my brother hurried for his barbeque with his friends. I didn't buy anything, relax. Lol. But my heart was itching all the while during window shopping.

I'm currently waiting for my 2nd uncle, yes, the cheeky one. He's like wow, he's coming to give me my ipod mini speakers and earphones after I asked him to help me check it out just yesterday when he came for a swim. So efficient, I like! =)

Haha. This certainly ignites my shopping-for-everything-i-need mood. I wanna cross out everything from my Fiery Desires! I WANNA!!!!! Lol.

Eh this post is so long. Hey, he's coming now. I'm gonna greet my new speakers and earphones!

Apparently the speakers I chose were so hot that he got the demo set and it currently has some problems. Luckily, because that set looked old. Lol. But the earphones are okay.

The To-Do Holiday Plans
1. Go Vivocity for shopping spree and sight-seeing
2. Spend a whole day in a library reading storybooks/borrowing storybooks
3. Go to a beach and watch sunset and have a picnic or something
4. Go to Escape Theme Park
5. Go and watch movie
6. Go ice-skating
7. Go to Kbox
8. Go shopping and visit neoprint shops
9. Go cycling
10. Have a gym time with friends
11. Have a swimming time with friends
12. Have a barbeque day with friends
13. Go to Sakae Sushi, etc with friends
14. Go to Xiao Qian's house for baking lessons
15. Go shopping with mom
16. Go to Sentosa with family
17. Go to Wild Wild Wet with family
18. Stay with grandma/grandma stay with us
19. Order pizza and watch VCDS
20. Bake at home
21. Learn to play the electone organ again
22. Read storybooks and newspapers
23. Play computer games
24. Spring-cleaning
25. Buy all the items and things I want
26. Be smarter

This is fun. I wanna cross them all! I'm a bit deprived, lol. And I wanna make the most out of this holidays, next year is gonna be study all day long. =) =) =)

8:54 PM;

{Monday, November 13, 2006}

School, it seems to be in a misty world these days. It seems as though everyone's surrounded by a cloud of mist, whereby when you wanna reach out and talk to them, it just seems so difficult to break through that thick cloud of mist surrounding them.

School, it seems to be a word whereby you feel lethargic to type out. The draggy and tired feeling at school clings upon you even after school ends and that insignificant feeling nibbling away at your heart makes you wanna do something about it. But you just know that it's difficult to keep those feelings away.

7:10 PM;

{Sunday, November 12, 2006}

I'm starting to dislike the sight of food, especially when I'm freaking pissed off like this.
This sounds dangerous to my health, but whatever. Never mind that I'll get gastric pain and end up in the hospital again. I'd rather let all my sorrows fade away by not eating than letting all the foods become fats in my body and be one sad pig.

I'm not eating dinner.

Your heart-stabbing punches.
It's enough.
As if my heart is not torn and abused into million pieces already.

I'm slowly drifting away,
to a place where there is melodious music,
to a place where angels are defined,
to a place where all dreams come true,
to a place where there's only happiness and laughter.

8:41 PM;

Yesterday, I went to my grandma's as usual, for dinner. It has been a few weeks since I last saw my grandparents. And as usual, I missed them. A lot. Lol. And my grandma exclaimed to me that I have lost weight since she last saw me, and that "my arms have little flesh left". My first response was to smile and say to her that I was happy that she said I lost weight. But all she said was that I looked pale and sickly skinny. I was like, "Eh ok..." Then a few moments later, my grandfather came back. He laughed and smiled at me and said that I have grown fatter since he last saw me. I was like, "Eh ok..." while my grandma insisted to my grandfather that I have become skinnier and all.

This confusion brings me back to my state of mind. Confusion, confusion, confusion. As to whether the fact or not I am skinny or fat. I'm confused when sometimes people can come up to me and tell me that I'm fat and other times, people can come up to me and say that I'm skinny and anorexic. Oh well. Skinny or not, I feel that I have to lose weight or I will risk looking like a fatass or feel that my insides are coated with layers and layers of fat. Some people will sigh and say that I'm anorexic and weight-obsessed, while some people will say that I should indeed lose weight. Oh well. Whenever I look at the metro shopping bag, it says, "I'm in a why buy one when you can buy two instead" kind of mood. It's the same as losing weight. "I'm in a why lose 2 when you can lose 3 kg instead" kind of mood.

This post sounds so irrelevant. Whatever. I just need to wind off from Homework Lake. =)

3:57 PM;

{Friday, November 10, 2006}

In case you're wondering, "The princess has drowned in Homework Lake!"
Oh no, you're so wrong. I'm now on a yellow and buoyant float, sipping a champagne glass of ice-cool lemonade, wearing a cool black pair of shades, letting the float sail on Homework Lake. I'm halfway through Homework Lake, and in case you're wondering, "Why is the princess writing such descriptions today?" And now, you're finally correct. Yes, I'm feeling inspirational today. And before I reach my destination towards the hopeful little island near Homework Lake, I'm gonna close my eyes and let my mind drift away...
Peering into the little circle, there lay a handful of fluffy little cotton clouds. The plane's majestic wing rested under the tender care of the little fluffies. Heading for a new direction in life, that's what it was all about.
Tattered bits of cloth worn round their tiny little bodies; large visible holes of emptiness. Large round eyes that peer at you with hope; eyes that unleash the desolate soul inside. Sunken-looking faces painted with soot; faces of innocence.

A mixture of anxiety and excitement before I stepped onto the horse shoe and was lifted a few metres off the ground. The horse could sense my existence, and its eyes darted slightly backwards, like a human's eye, to see me. I stroked its long mane; it felt dry and springy. The horse started to trot; its legs making a rhythmic motion. I held tightly onto the back of the horse, having a mild sense of fear that I would be swept off the back of the horse by the strong wind. Soon, I started to relax when the horse 'reassured' me that I would be alright by its calm and tranquil-like nature.
The clouds in the sky were white fluffies no more. They were now dyed an ominous shade of grey. The air soon felt thick and heavy; it was like a sign that rain is coming. Rain called out to his children; tiny raindrops that were light and not visible. Their tasks were to pour out Rain's sadness to the grounds below. Rain did not dare to make his own appearance, for he did not want to make people as sad as him. He was good-natured; he knew that no matter how melancholy he is, he would not want to pour out all of his sadness to the grounds below.
As I walked on the ground with slow, measured steps, tiny raindrops started to make their footprints onto my spectacle frames. Sadness suddenly overwhelmed me; I thought of the raindrops as my very own tears. They were not normal tears; they were tears that had been secretly shed and hidden inside. Now they are finally let out, and they are finally allowed to leave their own footprints into my world.
Rain didn't know that a girl had freed a fraction of his burden.

6:59 PM;

{Tuesday, November 07, 2006}

The simplicity is gone and the rat race is back.
I'm back! =) Yay, I survived the simple life of China.
Man, I'm so tired although I slept for 10 hours since the plane touched down at 1am today. But still, I miss blogging! And I miss my clean toilet and my warm and cozy bed! Haha. But I dislike the humid and dense air here; it's so much different from the cold and light air back there! Lol.

The trip to China was kinda fun, albeit there were 'amazing' toilets and oily foods. Glad that I didn't lose nor put on weight, albeit my brother and I loved to eat ice-creams on cold days and ate quite a lot during mealtimes and all, due to the weather. The weather there was hot and cold, with temperature ranging from 5 to 21 degrees. Imagine sunny Singapore with no humidity but cold wind that makes you shiver. Sadly we didn't see snow; we were close to seeing it. We saw only autumn leaves and colourful trees and flowers. Lol. The environment there was a total contrast. We saw cows and horses and dogs and lots of other animals, poor children with tattered clothes and traditional people and of course, the roads are dirty, with occasional animal droppings. Lol, but still, I survived. =) There were lots of culture things that I learnt back there too. And yeah, we took loads of pictures! =) I can't possibly put up all of them; just a few of the best pictures yeah?

Day 1

The first stop was a very beautiful garden with many kinds of trees and flowers. And a few hours before, I was on the plane puking non-stop due to infrequent eating and also partly because of the midnight flight. Lol, I look pale in comparison with my brother and my mom.

The calligraphy house inside the garden. The old man is so wise and clever that he can use all of our names to form a poem! The masterpiece is in the middle.

Day 2

We took a short flight from Kunming to Dali. Dali is full of culture! Look at our tour guide, she's wearing their traditional clothes.

We visited a huge temple place in Dali. Had to climb up many steps.

We wore their traditional clothes at the Butterfly Park. Haha. Once a pair of lovebirds jumped into the lake behind us because their parents didn't want them to be together.

Day 3

We went to another place called Lijiang. The place there was cold cold cold in the morning! Especially we're standing behind an ice-capped mountain.

Lijiang's rivers and mountains. Still cold in the morning.

Lijiang's crystal-clear lake at a garden.

Old street shopping at Lijiang! Shopping kept me alive during the 9-day trip because I thought there ain't any shopping. Lol.

Day 4

After Lijiang, we endured a 7 hour trip by bus to Luku Lake. This picture was taken after we took a sort of cable car thing up to a mountain and climbed up the high mountain. The cable car thingy was scary, for I am afraid of heights and the mountain is 3800++ m high. Difficult to breathe. Lol.

Day 5

We were still at Luku Lake and were ready to take a boat ride at the very vast and boundless lake. We didn't bathe as the hotel we stayed at the night before didn't have heater. All of the tour people didn't bathe too. Ice water, ya know.

This is a temple place after the boat ride was finished. Behind us is the wow-wow Luku Lake.

The bus stopped for us to take a photo of the 18 turns around the mountain area. Yeah, we're returning back to Lijiang, the dreaded 7-hour bus ride. Our hair is deprived of cleanliness! We need to bathe although it's very cold.

When we finally reached Lijiang, we quickly bathed and refreshingly went to watch a performance.

Day 6

We left Lijiang for Shangri-La. And yeah, we reached Shangri-La and this is the place where we admired the strong currents of a lake after we climbed another mountain.

The fun thing baby! Horse-riding at Shangri-La. My horsie is a cutie because she's the smallie! Haha. It's the first time we rode on a horse; the novelty is wow! But I was kinda scared at first, when I stepped onto the shoe thing and onto the horse. When the horsie moves, your whole body moves baby! And my brother's horsie likes to shit and fart. And that horsie and my horsie like to be together, so close together that when my brother's horsie shit, the shit almost dropped onto my pants. Lol.

After horse-riding, I cuddled a little lamb. Mary had a little lamb, haha. Was kinda scared because the little thing is kinda squiggly.

My mom sat on a cow! This is the first time we saw such a huge ferocious-looking cow.

We went to the old streets of Shangri-La. Was soooo cold! Shudder.

We went to the local people's houses at night. They were fantastic hosts and kept us happy.

Day 7

Went back to Kunming from Shangri-La. And visited a cave place with colourful lights.

There was a huge waterfall in that cave place. We're standing in front of it.

Day 8

We went to a sand forest. Everything there was made of sand.

After the sand forest, we went to a stone forest. Loads of stone-resembling objects due to natural corrosion.

There was a TV filming place at the stone forest and there were costumes too. So we wore their costumes and became a royal warrior family. Haha.

Last Day

We went to a temple kinda place and the weather was cold cold cold. So unexpectedly cold that we didn't wear thick clothing and I was freezing. So my mom lent me her big sweater.

We're inside a temple. And the big bell is said to bring good luck and etc when you use the fish head to make it ring.

Outside the temple there's a special tree. You scratch the tree and the leaves will shake. Lol.

You have come to the end of photo viewing. Thank you and good bye. Lol.

We bought lotsa souvenirs from China, due to lotsa shopping baby! I bought the most, as always. For myself, haha. Joking. I bought some prezzies for my darlings baby! Haha. The things there are so cheap that it's impossibly cheap. Like you can get a nice long-sleeved jumper for $6. Oh and we saw poor children and decided to give them money and food. Poor lil things. Now I know how fortunate I am. Lol. Oh and the people there don't call females and males as Xiao Jie and Xian Shen. They have many different greetings for males and females, eg. Xiao Ah Mei and Xiao Ah Ge, Jin Hua and Ah Peng Ge, Ah Shi Ma and Ah Hei Ge, Pan Jin Mei and Pan Jin Ge. Interesting eh?

Yawn, I'm suffering from jet lag. I wanna sleep, and relax. But there's school tomorrow. And I'm gonna drown in Homework Lake.

4:51 PM;

be with myself


cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
triumphs and singing of the heart

in center


Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.


Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons


*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles


amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains


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Credits: momotea, larafairie.
Images: Foto decadent, deviantart.
Since 31st March'06
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