♥ heart on wings

Try again
Never stop believing
Try again
Don't give up on your love
Stumble and fall
It's the heart of it all
When you fall down
Just try again...

Baby when a heart is crying
It sometimes feels like dying
The tear drops fall like rain...

8:33 PM;

Thank you, you made me see the light.
Thank you, you brightened up my day.
Thank you, for if you didn't say those words to me, I won't be happy.
Thank you.
I love my darling friends.
Life isn't complete without them.

I've learnt to ignore, to ignore.
I've learnt to not think too much about it.
I must remember, that if things are meant to be yours, they will be yours, and vice versa.
I must remember, to concentrate on Common Test instead.

So many things to tell her
But how to make her see
The truth about my past?
Impossible! She'd turn away from me
He's holding back, he's hiding
But what I can't decide
Why won't he be the king I know he is
The king I see inside...



God won't talk to me
I guess she's pretty busy lately
But I'd like to believe
She's listening
I'm starting to feel
All of my bruises imagined or real
And I'll get through each day
I dig through the bad ones
To get to the good ones
Who's keeping score anyway

And this is my beautiful life
Only thing certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive
It's a beautiful life...

I talk in my sleep
That's the one place I know no one can hear me
I tell myself things
Don't walk in the shadows, there's always tomorrow
And I'm right where I wanna be

And this is my beautiful life
Only thing certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive
It's a beautiful life...

Oh it hurts while it happening
I wanna feel everything
How can you know till you try?
And this is my beautiful life...

It's a beautiful life
It's a beautiful life
It's a beautiful life
It's a beautiful life

9:12 PM;

Monday
I had a sudden headache during school. The headache was like so immense, and I could not stand it. In the end, I went home, about half an hour before school. Thank you, for those people who accompanied me and whom were concerned about me...I'm okay now. The headache may be due to my extreme exercise on Sunday; I ran 6 km++...oh well. But I'm okay now.

But my heart is not.
My heart is aching, like the persistant headache.
How I wish I would not be able to go to school and stay at home instead to study for the impending Common Test.
Then, I would not make a laughing stock out of myself by crying like a fool.
Then, my heart would not be like a porcelain vase dropped from a majestic height and broken into many many tiny pieces and be plastered to form a whole heart again.
The whole process is very painful, to the extent that the pain is indescribable.
I feel like stabbing it to relieve it of the pain.
I feel like crying to a certain volume of tears to cool the confused emotions in the heart.
This is very frustrating, and overwhelming.
On top of it, Common Test is coming.
Wish me luck to overcome all this.

无论等待多久, 都无法再靠近你
我好像哭泣
我好想你．．．
我的心好痛
痛得无法形容．．．

4:36 PM;

Okay, this is going to be another update. =)

Saturday
After A Maths tuition, Amelin and I waited for Ke Hua, Daphne and Fiona to appear at the interchange, for we were going to Sakae Sushi, to celebrate Fiona's belated birthday. =)
It was night, Saturday Night, to be precise. The time where everyone is out on streets and celebrating and all. It was the first time I went out with my darling friends at night. Yay.

Sakae Sushi at Century Square was full, so we waited for like 20 minutes before we were seated. 8pm to 9:30pm was our feast time. We ate many plates, but it was not a buffet, and had an alarming fee of $70++. Ironically, we benefitted as the people there could not count and only counted 27 plates when it should have been 29. =)) I ate the most number of plates, 6, excluding the Japanese soup thing, to be precise. But I felt happy and full and contented during that time. During our feast, we talked a lot and laughed a lot. And we attracted loads of attention unintentionally. Lol. Fiona brought her digital camera, but due to the not-so-good-ambience-as-compared-to-Bugis's, we didn't take photos. Aww. So we gave them extra money and they gave the extra money back to us. Lol. Daphne had an idea, which is to use the extra money to buy a sccop of Haagendazz ice-cream to share among five people. Haha. It was already like 9:30pm after we ate, including the ice-cream. The mall was like going to close and all. Malls should not close so early, you know. So we could not shop for Fiona's birthday present, and went home. Lol. Happy belated birthday, Fiona. =)))

Japanese food is creative and irresistable. Love it.
But I felt guilty after eating so many plates of sushi, so as usual, I went to the gym today.
Just that I ran a bit more. An extra 13 minutes. Lol.
Firstly, I chose the usual option "Manual" on the machine and I ran 5.02km, and burned 248 calories. Then, I was not satisfied with my number of calories burned and I chose "Fat Burn" on the machine. In 13 minutes, I burned 77 calories and ran 1++km. Yay.
Total no. of calories burned= 325. =)))
But does anyone knows whether the no. of calories burned is effective on my weight?
Lol. Love ya, peeps. Till then.

8:01 PM;

Hey hey. I'm gonna update! =)

Wednesday
Yesterday my class went to an old folks' home to do some good charity work. It was a new experience for us. I have been there before to perform some songs for the elderly with the whole Guitar Ensemble, and I really didn't like seeing those poor elderly, looking so miserable and lonely. It was like, "Urgh, my heart hurts", again for me. We met more elderly and our mission was to talk to them and show them what we have done in our sketchbook and all. It was rather weird to talk to them as we didn't really know what to talk to them in the beginning, especially some not really sociable elderly. The first elderly for me was a lady. She seemed interested in my sketchbook, which was about sceneries, and we talked about how the lakes and the leaves and the flowers are so beautiful. And to make the talk seem long, I asked her whether she have seen those sceneries...Lol. Then while Amelin and Wan Teng showed her their sketchbooks, she sort of figeted here and there. I asked her whether she was all right and she said that she felt like sleeping. We were like, "Err, ok, have a good sleep."

The rest of the journey through the old folks' home was enjoyable and saddening. Enjoyable, because some of the elderly liked to crack jokes and talk to us and one of them even knew how to write and read and was trilingual. One of them kept asking for presents, and Amelin was like, "Er, yeah, we're coming again tomorrow," when he asked us to give him presents the next day. I didn't feel good because it was an empty promise, but what to do? Sigh. One of them could not speak, but was cheerful. I showed him my sketchbook and he kept on pointing and signing with his hands to show he's very interested and all. =) And saddening, because as we walked past the corridors, we peeked into the rooms, and mostly were elderly with drips and looking very deathly. And some elderly we approached were either deaf or mute. ='(( Sigh, and one of the elderly kept on calling us to bring him home, bring him home. And that he will give us money, he kept on repeating what he said. We were alarmed, of course, and the nurse tells us to just leave him alone. Honestly, if he doesn't wish to stay, why don't they send him home?

Sigh. How I wished the poor man who desperately wanted to go home could fulfil his wish. It's like so saddening. His pleading eyes and incessant pleas...

Oh well. I guess I would not be updating much anymore, because you know, the tests are
coming. Not so minor, yet not so major. But still, I have to study. So there. =)

Oh by the way, you know, I'm back to specky moi. Because my mom thinks that contact lenses can make one go blind. Boo.

6:52 PM;

"I wanna lose 250 calories, or more..."

It was just a careless thought as I walked down to the gym. Nevertheless, it came true.
I felt so accomplished today. I burnt 252 calories in 35 minutes. The machine showed the distance I ran. 5.12km. Wow. That's like equivilant to running 6 to 7 times around my school. =)

I ran with the speed of 9 to 10. I felt my stomach whirring with all the things I ate when I ran. I felt beads of perspiration dripping down my face, I felt the burning desire to stop running, but I continued with a fast speed of 9-10. 30 whole minutes on the machine felt like forever. During the running process, it was long and tiring. But I persisted on, distracting myself with the fast hits on my Pinky Winky and looking at my surroundings and gazing on the seconds jumping on the meter. Then finally, when the numbers became 29:00, I had one more minute left before cooling down. So I pushed the speed button and I ran like crazy with the speed of 10. When I cooled down and went outside, my glasses started to get foggy. Lol. And when I went into the public toilet, my whole face was like pinkish-red. Lol.

I'm so proud of myself. I burnt 252 calories today. Way to go, princess.
Honestly, this should be the way to lose weight, not eating weird tablets and stuff. Although it's a slower way, it is healthy and all. Plus, after exercising today, I felt full. Like I don't need to eat anymore. =)

Way to go! =))

7:16 PM;

想你

想那些美好的回忆

6:06 PM;

Happy Birthday Singapore! And to Amelin too. =)
I shall update on what had happened yesterday and today, so it's gonna be a long post, with some photos!

Tuesday
We had a half day off from school, so we celebrated Amelin's birthday in advance.
We happily went to Bugis to have Sakae Sushi after school.
I don't wish to elaborate on the school part, because it's just the school band playing and the uniformed groups marching and the teachers singing. Lol.

Sakae Sushi, taken by moi. =) I was being lame, but it's photogenic, ain't it?

Japanese food! Uber-delicious, I say. And much much healthier than Western food! I was being lame again and I took this photo. The conveyor belt thing looked appealing to me. (Yes, it's the first time I had Sakae Sushi.)

This Japanese soup thing was recommended by Jie Ling and Fiona. The yellow creamy mixture is like typical beancurd, except it was made of egg. The pink swirly thing is actually a fishcake. I thought this dish looked interesting, so I took a picture of it. =)

Typical kukus. Hahaha. My darlings, from left: Jie Ling, Daphne, Fiona.

They were like trying very hard to pose. Hahaha.

From left: Moi, Amelin, Xiao Ting. Lol. Who made everyone look so red and the background so pink? Must be kuku Fiona. But I won't blame her for being so patriotic. =)

Yes! We succeeded in posing. Hahaha. Slurp slurp slurp...

Amelin and Xiao Ting smiling away. Ahahaha.

Doing the "Yeah, I'm so cool baby" pose. -_-

Moi and the soon-to-be-15 girl smiling away.

Doing the "We are lame" pose.

After Sakae Sushi, we had some shopping. During the shopping trip around Bugis, we chanced upon this shop that has some really cute soft toys. The tatty bears we were holding cost about a hundred plus. The one I was holding is so adorable. Though I don't like bears.

That's not just your typical piggy soft toy...

Look at its butt! I'm so amazed! Hence I declared my undying love for Amelin using the pig. Lol.

We had a wonderful time at Bugis. And I bought a necklace, and 2 pairs of earrings. Haha.

Today
Amelin wanted to go ice-skating, then in the end, many people turned up. Me, Amelin, Susie, Jin Ming, De Hong, Mei Yi, Vivian, Jon... So we went.
I embraced the wonderful atmosphere there again. The graceful skaters, the slippery and icy-white surface, the cool and chilly air... Yet I almost forgot how to ice-skate. Lol.

Some warming-ups made me remember how to skate, although today many people have decided to treat me like a bowling pin. I fell down twice because of people crashing right into me.
Damnit. And twice, they were guys. You know, they were like really heavy and crashed straight into me. Like, wham, bam. Luckily, this time round, friends lended me their helping hand when I fell. Lol. There were times when I fell down myself. You know, being a klutz and all. Lol. There was one time when I wanted to fall, yet I tried hard not to fall. Then the guys were like lending me their helping hands and I was like wobbling here and there. Coz' I was trying hard not to fall. Lol. Amelin was like laughing away lah. -_-

She's quite a fast learner; Vivian too. Susie was like making fun of me, saying how they picked up ice-skating quite fast and I was still wobbling here and there like a jelly. Lol, you know, once I fall, my legs will get wobbly. So there. Anyway, I could skate, just that I'm a bit slow, like a snail on skates. =) But during the learning process, Amelin depended a lot on Susie and Susie was always holding her, not letting her fall and all. Good lor, that time when I first learnt, I fell loads of times. Vivian was more independent, she wanted to learn it herself and did it. Clever girl.

The guys dedicated a birthday song to Amelin, and the usual birthday dedicated was aired.
"Here's a birthday dedication to Amelin Foo, 15 years old..."
The happy birthday song came and bubbles dispersed into the air. It was a beautiful and flawless delight to see little bubbles, artificial snowflakes, in the air. Lalala...Amelin must be so touched. =)) We then played around the rink, holding onto one another's backs and whooshing on the ice. It was a weird, scary sensation. Pairs skating hand in hand was played too. Haha, whenever I skated with Amelin, she always wanted to fall.

It was a nice day, ending off with some window-shopping and neoprint-taking at Bugis.
Yawn.

Should I brew tears of joy, or drops of sorrow?

Happy birthday to Amelin, once again.

8:56 PM;

Red and white is the colour of my flag...
Ok. I'm so not patriotic. I'm just looking forward to next week because there's like a half day and a 2-day holiday. =) On second thoughts, I'm not really that un-patriotic too. =)

Moi shall update on what happened recently.
Ok, recently, my class's just had a new classmate. Yes, another one. Lol.
And recently, there were a group of china students visiting our school and all...
And, we've had a change of seating arrangements, and now, I'm sitting next to Amelin! Yayness.
And, we've had our class photo taken and all...
Yawn. Suddenly, I don't feel like updating on school life anymore.
It's just so...tiring.

Miss you lonely
It hurts me bloody
Love me tender
Make me feel better...

11:09 PM;

I'm here to announce happily that
I have finally finally finally...
learnt how to save money!!! $$$$$$$$$

Moi is so happy and proud of herself.
Yay.
Miracles can happen, and a miracle just happened.
A shopaholic can actually save money???
WOW.

And you know what made saving money a success?
Because, August is practically a month that is full of birthdays.
So I have to save some money to buy a present for Gary, because I sort of um, owe him.
You know, last year, he chipped in quite a lot to buy me Mister Gurly, so I felt a bit guilty.
And also to buy birthday presents for some people too.
So, I saved.
Yay!
Saving money is quite a daily routine now, I take $4 and I spend only $2.
One week= $10
One month= $40
Wow. That's really a whole lot. But then again, the money I saved, where will it go to eventually?
Haha.

Of course. The money will then be mine. And I'll have the power to control it. Muahahaha.
Okay, buying presents for people is a really tough thing to do. I fear they won't like what I buy, because I dunno what to buy for them. Oh well, I guess I'll have to go with my sixth sense. =) If only the presents I buy is for myself, then that won't be difficult. =)))
The time shall come soon...
=))))))
And an endless wishlist will also come soon...
=)))))))

I wish... I wish... and I wish...
Currently, I wish for the old teachers teaching English and Social Studies to return.

7:45 PM;

be with myself

Affirmation

cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
sincerity..
triumphs and singing of the heart

clarity

Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.

peace

Independence
Health
Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons
Love
Faith
Happiness

serenity.

*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles

.::.
Cousin ♥
amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains

.::.