heart on wings

{Wednesday, May 31, 2006}

Looking at moi reflection in the oval-framed mirror, I saw a little girl.
Dressed in frilly-perfect blouses and balloon skirts, she was lavished with many gifts.
Her eye-stunning smile dazzled moi sight, her happiness was indescribable.
Her eyes were a big contrast to her smile however.
She had eyes that were made of black, heavy liquid.
Eyes that shimmered with glittery tears.
Those eyes, they were looking wistfully at a mother and her son.
The mother was generously giving her son timeless hugs and kisses.
The son was laughing and smiling. He looked at the little girl and continued his laughter.
The mother soon noticed the little girl's existence.
She yelled at the little girl for her low level of intelligence as compared to her son.
She critisized the little girl for being so slow in response, as compared to her son.
The little girl could not contain the bottled-up anger in her anymore.
The bottle of anger exploded, raining down on the little girl's tiny frame.
The little girl's eyes suddenly directed at me.
A look of longing.
She sang a melancholic tune with her eyes.
I scrutinized her eyes, they were a tad bit familiar.
Then, I realized.
Her eyes were all too familiar.
Moi eyes.

8:04 PM;

{Sunday, May 28, 2006}

Hey darlings.
A piece of good news.
I'm happy again!
Today was just unexpected; my father asked us, "Hey, you all wanna go Bukit Timah Plaza shop shop or not? Because I wanna see fish. I see fish, you all go shop shop. Okay?"

We happily got changed and hopped into our car.
Little did we know that we're in for a little shock.
Bukit Timah Plaza.
When we stepped into the mall, we were like, "WTF??? You call this a mall???"
So darlings, don't ever step into that so called plaza, because you're really gonna regret it.
I mean, who would want to go all the way there and be so disappointed with it because it's really old and outdated??? C'mon, I'm not trying to be some snob here, but frankly speaking, it sucks. Because even the Popular bookstore over there is not air-conditioned. And there's no proper food court either. No need to say, there's no neoprint shops or arcades and all. No cinema too! Ohmygosh.
Luckily, there was a pathetic NTUC standing over there, so we decided to buy some groceries instead.
My father was a bit psyched after looking at his darling fishies. He asked us, "You all wanna go Seiyu instead or not?"
Is something fishy going on? =)

Of course I said yes. Who won't?
Plus, this time, I'm going Bugis with my parents.
Which means, I can ask them to buy, pay, carry.
Lol. But I did the carrying myself. I just lurve to carry shopping bags.
I bought a watch and a wallet.
Not really over the moon, but happy.
At least I bought something. =)
Yeah lah, you call me a spendthrift. But I don't mind; even my mom calls me that.
Oh well, she even said that when I grow up and work, I would splurge all my $$$ away.
As if that's gonna happen. I would earn big $$$ and save 2/3 of it and spend the rest.
Or maybe I would just buy a set of clothes and accessories per month. =)
Anyway, back to the present.
So after satisfying our material needs, my parents wanted to eat something. So I recommended them Takopachi. You know, Japanese Octopus Balls. They are sooo delicious that I won't mind putting on 1 kg for them. I ate 2 packets, ya. But I so regret it now. Never mind, tomorrow I'm going to visit the pool and the gym. =)
My parents liked it very much. That's why we ordered them twice. Heheh. They weren't suspicious that I knew Takopachi is at the basement though. =)
We looked at clothes after eating Takopachi.
However, it was only window shopping.
But hey, I can officially visit Bugis whenever I want to, with my friends, now.
Because I asked for my parents' permission. Haha, they agreed. Because they saw how me and my brother gaped at the oh-so-nice shopping mall. =))

Today was just unexpected.
It was rare that the whole family went out together.
A chance for bonding to take place. Heheh.
Though my parents didn't buy anything.
But I'm very sure I'm gonna let $$$ rain on them when I grow up and work. =))

11:08 PM;

{Friday, May 26, 2006}

There are loads of things I wanna say.
I do.
What if I tell you,
I'm not able to?
Oh well.
Let me tell my tale here,
and dwell.

She went to school and wore a heart of ecstasy.
"It's the last day of school, what a fantasy."
Time flew by,
Friends appearing,
Friends disappearing.
The end of the day,
She was sad,
The numbers pulled her grinning face into a frown.
Nevertheless, she told herself to be strong,
Not a girl to be laughed at and scorned.
Again, she wore a heart of ecstasy,
Because she was going shopping with her bestie.
She thought her day would be perfect,
Nevertheless, she was not correct.
She stayed at home,
Her bestie had something on.
Her heart felt like it had been dampened,
Nevertheless, it would not be broken.
Cold water rushed through her,
When she saw her bag,
The zip had fell off, together with the doll.
The dolls were wickedly torn apart,
So was her heart.
Her mom came home,
And gave a furious shriek.
She had thrown away old stuffs,
What she had done was enough.
Her mom had given her
The penalty of not spending anymore money.
People call her a spendthrift
But they did not know
Deep in her heart
That was the way to let troubles go.
People call her anorexic
But they did not know
Deep in her heart
That was the way to let troubles go.
Either way, she could not tolerate anymore,
She could not understand what all these beautiful setbacks were for.
Off she went,
Crying in despair.
She raced furiously on the treadmill,
As if she depended on it like a drugger's relationship with a pill.
Beads of perspiration painted her face,
Her torn and shattered heart was burning in disgrace.
What was she doing in a gym,
With a physique so slim?
Nevertheless, she continued,
Running with the speed of wind.
Fatigue had tried to stop her,
But she continued running further.
A train of thoughts distracted her mind,
As she thought of someone she pined.
She yearned for him dearly,
She thought of her level of intelligence,
Greatly not up to her standard.
All these motivated her,
To go faster.
Faster she went,
Till she was out of breath.
231 calories she burned,
A great reward she earned.

6:04 PM;

{Wednesday, May 24, 2006}

Teachers are...
pure evil.

This is supported by the mountain pile of homework and assignments we have to do during the June Holidays. Plus, we will have to come back for extra lessons and stuffs. I feel that holidays are rather meaningless if teachers steal away our precious time. Why don't they just declare work straight after the exams? I know why they don't do that. Because they wanna seem kind and angelic to students, and not devils with those silly pointed horns.

Oh well.
School is a drag; lessons are in.

But, nevertheless, I'm gonna use the precious time to do all I want to do.
There's so many things I wanna do, I'm afraid I can't complete them all.
But pray I will. =)
Today I just discovered something. My waistline has expanded! This is supported by the fact that I don't quite fit into my usual shorts. Wow. It's time to do something.

I'm gonna declare that I will be strictly going on a diet, with the slogan of eating till you're only 80% full, plus with loads of exercise. =D

Yuck, I feel so FAT.
Food, sometimes, is kinda evil to me too.
For the time being, I'm gonna think of what I'm gonna do during the June Holidays.

7:58 PM;

{Monday, May 22, 2006}

I have gotten back my darling fruit of hardwork, oh well, almost.
Left Social Studies Part 2.
So am I happy with what I've gotten?
Not really, but at least I did improve in most of my subjects, except for Physics and Humanities, and Literature, that is.
All my papers looked weird when I got them back, because the answers I read were a bit crazy. I sure won't think of writing those answers in my right mind. Maybe it's because my brain really backfired and was dysfunctional. =)
Well, anyway, I must work harder and harder and harder and harder, to achieve 9 points for my O Levels. I don't care. I must slog until my brain juice flows out from my brain. =) That is like sheer exaggeration, but I must really do that because I just am not born of pure talent. Even my standard of English here is really like sucky, all the sentence structures here are really like boo. If you can barely make out what I'm saying here, please do not throw banana skins at me. Thank you. =)

When I thought back on how I got really depressed when I received the Common Test results, I felt that it was really redundant. Unneccessary to do so. Because the proverb usually says, "Failure is always the fruit of our success." And I thought, why didn't I listen to the proverb instead? Why did I transform into some Emo and sadistic girl? Why did I resort to self-torture? It only made me feel worse, (but on the other hand, it made me lose weight) , but I know it was really wrong to do so. So I learned from my mistake, and picked myself up. So here I am now. A new me. An optimistic and cheerful girl. Who knows that she will learn to accept failures and vent her frustrations onto the subject instead of herself. Means that she will try to understand the subject more, and the more she does worse for the subject, the more she wants to learn about the subject and not give it up and throw it down the drain. And I'm not saying that I won't continue to lose weight, because I am going to. In a healthy way, that is. =)

And I believe that if you believe in yourself, everything's gonna be fine. =D
Cheers, people.

I think I really need to share this video with people.
This video really brightens up my day, and it's really well done. =)
Perfect gay couple.
But they're cute, really. =)
Especially the one wearing the scarf, he's so CUTE!
And notice their expressions on their faces! Hilarious! Especially at the beginning of the video. =)))

6:48 PM;

{Saturday, May 20, 2006}

This is sweet.
This is lovely.
This is
Pretty Boy, by M2M.
A nevertheless pretty and fairytale-like song.

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you;
Like I never ever loved no one before you;
Pretty pretty boy of mine;
Just tell me you love me too.

Oh pretty boy;
Say you love me too.

This is touching.
This is real.
This is
The Confessions of a Broken Heart, by Lindsay Lohan.

Daughter to father; daughter to father;
I don't know you; but I still want to;
Daughter to father; daughter to father;
Tell me the truth; did you ever love me???


9:21 PM;

{Thursday, May 18, 2006}

I'm back to normal once again! I'm revived.
Alright, I shall post about what has happened over the past few days.

Moi, Amelin, Fiona and Jieling went to Pasir Ris Park to cycle. =)
Teehee. We had a great adventure, don't cha know?
We decided to enter the amazing Mangrove Swamp.
However, they were hesitant because they were scared.
But I wasn't. Haha. So I went in first, followed by Fifi, Pig-ling, Amoi.
Amoi was like very scared lah. "Eee...go back leh. So deserted..."
Haha. Yeah lah, I confess it's quite deserted and mysterious.
But then it was broad daylight, so it's not really scary after all.
Except that the road has loads of turns and the wooden bridge is really like very old and rickety.

We were quite sure that we would fall off and rot there, but we were lucky. =)
Anyway, Amoi, Pig-ling and I thought we saw a gross creature on our way to the exit.
Dunno what it was, it looked kinda like an eel. Eww.
So after cycling, we were hungry. Darling Xiao Qian didn't wanna cycle, so she came later.
She came when we were having out lunch at KFC.
After we had our stomachs full, we headed to Bugis.
Heheh. I didn't tell my momma. =) Bleh.
In the MRT, we crazy girls kept fiddling with each others' handphones. Not mine, but Amoi and Xiao Qian's. Haha, Fifi and Pig-ling keep on saying we 'zi lian'? Lol.
The ironic thing was that we went to Bugis, we didn't really buy anything.
We just couldn't stop talking, and we were like still talking even when we enter the shops.
Haha. Typical schoolgirls.
Fifi was so into taking neoprints. "Go take neoprint leh...what pose ah? Kuku pose or what?"
Ahahahah. In the end, the neoprints we took were really kuku. =)
Then came Kiwi. That lecherous guy. Haha. We couldn't stop talking again.
Lol. My heart was really itching to buy something, so I just bought a pouch for my Pinky Winky.

Then I came to realize that it was too big, but whatever. =D It's quite nice.
All of a sudden, the three crazy girls, Fifi, Pig-ling and Amoi wanted to cut hair together.
But they were like so scared of it. "Later become disaster how ah, tomorrow no need go school already." Aiyo. So me being the holy one, I accompanied them to the hairdressers'.
The end result? Better. =)
After the haircut 'adventure', we went home. =)

Oh well. Back to school once more.
This is the beginning of the day where we are getting the fruit of our hardwork.
Today I got back Double Maths and Biology. They were okay.
But, I really don't have confidence in Chemistry and Physics.
I have a feeling I would barely pass or not even pass. =(

Oh well. Then again, I would not let it affect my mood. Because what's done is already done, and the only thing you can do next is to buck up and put in two times of your effort. There's no use crying over split milk, it's just a waste of time and it will affect your mood badly.
Then again, sometimes I really do feel the pressure.
It's not because I do really badly, and that I'm disappointed with it.
It's just that some peeps in my class are just so sarcastic, and sometimes I really do wonder whether they are really trying hard to put us 'not so clever' people down.

I read my horoscope for this year, and it advised me to be cautious of sneaky people. 'Xiao ren'.
I do believe in horoscopes, because they are quite true for me all the time. =)
Anyway, I'm really disappointed with those people. Sure, I do admire your pretty results, but you don't have to like be sarcastic to people who have not so pretty results and say, "Wah lao. My blah blah blah is really sucky leh. I'm so sad." That's obviously sarcasm, and remember that the people around you have feelings too. They are only human, and they will feel hurt. They are already hurt when they get not so pretty results, and there's really no need to slash their hearts by doing and saying all these right... I mean, sure, you have pretty results, so be it, and leave the rest alone. And, please do not grumble and groan and say that your results suck and look very depressed and sad, because there are always people that are worse off than you. If you do that, I believe those people who have not so pretty results will be better off dead by committing suicide if they see you behaving like this. Lol, I'm just stating a point here and I know I exaggerated a bit.

Enough of all this. So after school, the kukumalu peeps went to play and unleash our inner child. Hehe. I'm really happy, because I got to play on the swings at Sunplaza Park! How many years have I not touched a swing? I think about 5 years or more??? Oh man, I'm like so happy okay. I missed the swing. Seriously! Playing on the swing is not childish okay! It's so fun! Woohoo! Fifi, Amoi and Pig-ling were like, "Whoah. You swing until very high!" Heheh. Thank you thank you. I lurve the way I can almost fly up into the sky and then descend and go up again. I lurve the swing. Mwwwaaahhh. I believe I can fly...I believe I can touch the sky. Yeah that kinda feeling.
And playing on the swings made me think of many many years ago, where my papa brought me and my brother to Sunplaza Park and play. My papa was the one who thought me how to swing myself so that I can reach the skies. Lol. Such wistful memories...

So yeah, swings rock! =D
When we played enough of swings, we sat down on the spider web thingy and began to talk.
Then a few minutes later, a sweet little couple came and sat on the swings.
They are like so sweet. Swinging on the swings while making eye contact and all.

How SWEET. =)))
Haha. I wanna go swing swing again. =)

7:44 PM;

{Tuesday, May 16, 2006}

This is exactly the day I've been waiting for ever since the beautiful exam period started.
-insert daphne's crazy laughter-
-insert ke hua's seductive smile and lecherous laughter-

Exams are the past now.
Exams are so over.
Aww, I'm so sad.
I'm crying over it; I'm practically wailing.
Wailing out of laughter.

Oh yeah; I just changed my blogskin.
Due to persistant moanings and groanings from my darlings.
So what do you think of it?
Gimme your comments! =)
Oh by the way; this is so going to be a L-O-N-G post because I have neglected this poor blog for dunno how many weeks. (Sorry I can't count now. Lol.)

Yeah, the post-exam blues.
My brain is 'heat-oppressed'; due to the dead routine of coming home, bathe, eat, study til night, eat, bathe, sleep. Then the next morning it starts all over again.
But now, I'm revived. I'm alive once more. I can breathe. I can see. I can touch. I can hear. I can smell. I can taste. I can feel.
But then, another thing.
For those of you taking literature, you should know that I took the word 'heat-oppressed' from the Macbeth book. I think I'm seriously suffering from post-exam blues. Because whenever I look into a mirror, I will think of Physics, and then my brain automatically switches to the "Light" chapter. Ohmygoodness. I better not think anymore. For fear my brain cannot take it. Lol. I'm serious okay.

Enough of talking about post-exam blues. Eh, I don't think I will do well for this major exam because I have a feeling I won't do well. And whenever I have a feeling, it will always come true. Oh well. But no, I'm not going to let myself suffer another major depression once more. No. I'm going to think positive and be strong. I will think of that girl, Joan, who is currently battling cancer. I'm sure if she is that strong, I'm gonna stay strong as well. I'm not gonna shed a single tear, because come to think of it, Joan suffers so much that my problems become so trivial. Yeah, baby!

The holidays are coming.
It means something too. Half a year has flown away.
Time is running too fast, I think Time can challenge with Light. Lol.
Anyway, I'm not gonna let my exam results bother me because I know that I have tried my best by mugging for like dunno how many weeks. Instead, I'm gonna let my hair down (literally), dress up and have major fun during the holidays! There's so much things to do! I even thought of it when I was studying, ya know. Studying deprives you of things that you don't feel that they exist. Until they are taken away from you, every single one of them. Things like the ability to listen to music, watch TV, play the computer, going out or just plainly enjoying the scenery at your bedroom window. I have discovered so many things that I was deprived of during my studying that I went bonkers. I was so deprived that I kept on snacking on chocolates and stuff to brighten up my day. Looks like I'll have to exercise during the holidays. Lol.

Here are things I'm planning to do during the holidays.
I'm gonna go out with friends, hit the town, go shopping, have girly fun and watch movie!
I'm gonna tidy up my bedroom and spice it up with loads of beautiful accessories!
I'm gonna go shopping with my mom, I'll make sure of that, even though she says my clothes are a lot already!
I'm gonna play the Sims 2 and continue to build up my legacy family!
I'm gonna watch Stairway to Heaven again because it's a soppy love story!
I'm gonna buy loads of VCDS and CDS.
I'm gonna.....

Okay. You get the idea right?
Because I think I'll have to stop right here, because I have a heat-oppressed brain that is seriously going to break down if I don't stop here.
But hey, I'll be back. =)

6:22 PM;

be with myself


cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
triumphs and singing of the heart

in center


Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.


Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons


*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles


amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains


mist swirl memories

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Images: Foto decadent, deviantart.
Since 31st March'06
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