heart on wings

{Friday, April 28, 2006}

You got to relax, Cai Ling.
I'm sure you can do it.
That's what my english teacher told me.
And I'm so gonna believe in him.
There can be miracles, when you believe.

This is just the beginning of me mugging for the mid-year exams.
And you know what?
I'm getting the aftermath of it.

I vandalized on my table.
Decorated it with words using my permanent black pen.
What a good way of relieving stress.
I love writing on the table. Because I can vent all my frustrations on the hapless, poor table.
As if it's not pitiful enough to have rusty legs and scratched surfaces.
But, I don't care.
It's already ugly anyway.
It's good to spice up the school table with words you know.
But, if teachers ever ask, I will tell them, "I'm going bonkers."
They will let me off, I'm very sure. =)

I just love writing poems and lyrics on the table.
Because whenever I'm feeling down, I can just read the words written on my table and the song just comes into mind. =))
It's a nice and cozy feeling. Lol.
Here are some examples of lyrics written.
"Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick with you forever."
"I was only thinking of you, hoping you were thinking of me, two hearts beating just like one against the world."
"When I found you, I found, the closest thing to heaven."

Poems? I only have 2 pathetic ones on my table.
I can only remember these two.
"Dance with the lady, to the tune of endless rhapsody."
"Raptured by the special soul, it was all a timeless fantasy."

Even my mom says I study until "gongon".
Translation: She means that I study until I look like a blur toot.

Hey, I just wanna get decent grades this time round.
What's more, I wanna get 9 points for my 'O's.
So might as well start mugging like hell now.
Wish me good luck okay.
Luv ya.

7:06 PM;

{Friday, April 21, 2006}

Okay. This shall be the last post before the major exams start.
(And I shall be bombasted by a troop of SPCB people.)
I know. My language sucks, so pardon me.

I shall start with Wednesday, 19th April.
I went for dental appointment on that day to change my braces.
For me, I need to change my braces every six weeks. (Actually it's not really changing, only the metal wires are changed.)
And so, for a bit of fun, I decided to have multi-coloured braces.
Pink and grey.
Initially I wanted pink and silver, but sadly, they don't have any silver colour.
Hey, the end result is not freakish, as what I said last time.
Remember, last time I said that coloured braces are freaky?
Never mind, forget it.
Anyway, I like my braces now. =))
But they only changed the wire at the bottom part of my teeth.
The dentist complained that the movements of the teeth is slow, so he put a thicker wire.
And it's really hurting, but it was not as bad as the first time I wore braces.
And now, nobody pokes fun of my braces anymore.
Except my brother. -_-;;;

Next, I should talk about the first excursion trip our class went yesterday.
We went to the Parliament House area.
The trip was not so exciting, except for the way the buildings are constructed.
Especially the transparent glass doors and windows.
But, due to my stupid fear of heights, I dared not look down at the view when we went up to the top of the building, which was such a pity.
In the end, I only managed to glance for a while.
And the escalator part was freaky.
I think it was scarier.
Imagine standing on an escalator, and when you look down, you can see the bottomest part of the building through transparent glass.
Overall, the excursion trip was better than nothing.

To end off my long post, I shall talk about today.
Maybe I should not.
Maybe I should.
Wait...lemme think.
Might as well talk lah.
Okay, today the kukumalu performed in front of the class, broadcasting and acting about Generation Gap.
It was a total screw-up.
But it was funny.
I know why the people laughed.
Because they can't be as kuku as us.
Amelin and I were so nervous before the 'show'.
Besides, Shafie and Suzie kept on saying, "CL'S group."
I felt like going to the toilet.
Then, the 'show' started.
"Ma, I'm going out. I won't be back for dinner."
Then suddenly, Amelin laughed.
I laughed too.
Everyone laughed.
Teacher: "Take 2."
It was the first time I acted in front of the whole class; I was shaking all over.
I suppressed my laughter and continued acting with Amelin.
I'm the spoilt brat, she's the mother.
Dunno why many people laughed leh.
Our acting really kuku and funny meh????
I hope they laughed because of Daphne and Fiona lor.
"Hi, I'm KUKU. Hi, I'm MALU. Together, we're KUKUMALU."

I wanna pursue performing arts in the future...

Anyway people, I need tons of good luck for the major exams.
Wish me luck, you darling reader.
Love ya.

8:12 PM;

{Tuesday, April 18, 2006}

MUST-SEE video.

Oh. Whoah.
Oops. I neglected my blog for 9 days.
Told ya.
My intuition was right. I had been oh so busy with tests, tests and tests.
Luckily Fiona pestered me to update my blog, so there you go.
My latest blog entry.

Exams are nearing.
Which means, I will be neglecting my blog again.
Oh well. I feel so guilty.
One day, I swear the SPCB will come after me. =)
How I love the word.
It's so fascinating.
It's so intriguing.
It's so
"Exams! I love exams! It's so exciting!"

It's the only way to remain a positive attitude towards exams.
Then, you will be able to have a clear mind and study well.
That's how my mindset becomes so corrupted during exam periods.

Exams are the most beautiful thing in the world.

Okay Fiona, this entry should not even exist.
But just for your sake, I'm updating my blog.
Just for you.
Can you feel the love emitting from your computer screen now?
I hope so.

6:53 PM;

{Sunday, April 09, 2006}

(This post is supposed to be submitted on 9th April 2006.)
(Unfortunately, the princess hasn't found time, hence the belated entry.)

I'm back to a happy princess today.
I'll try to blog as much as I can, because I have a weird fear that I won't be able to for the rest of this week. (Mind you, my intuition is always right.)
Today was the first time that I went for a haircut alone, without my mom. (Lol, you're so right. I'm a Mummy's girl.)
And I like the way my hair is now.
It's neater and in style. Not like the previous haircut, which was messy and out of shape.

I was reading the papers today and I came across this article regarding swear words.
I was quite appalled by the fact that nowadays, many people do swear.
I was really guilty. (Read my previous post and you'll know.)
Alright, alright. I shall not swear again. It's so unprincessy, for heaven's sake.

All I've been doing these days is clearing off my homework and studying for incoming tests.
Speaking of tests, I've just received the mid-year exam timetable.
I promise, I shall mug as ferociously as I can.
Sounds so freaky. But that's the way; I don't have the natural ability in the first place.

Speaking of freaky, there was this friday midnight ghost show I've just watched.
Oh, and I watched that show, Wishing Stairs, alone. What a miracle.
It was about a stair, which can grant you your wish if the 29th step appears.
Coincidentally, my unit number is #07-29. Lol.
There was these 2 girls who were best friends, and they were vying to enter the ballet competition.
One of the girl is more talented than the other.
The less talented girl tried climbing the stairs and the 29th step appeared.
She made a wish, to enter the ballet competition.
Then, a few days later, she pushed her best friend down her house's stairs.
They got into a catfight because of the jealousy and all.
Her best friend was hospitalized, hence could not go for the competition.
In the end, the girl won the competition.
Her best friend later died, dunno why.
Then the best friend started haunting the girl.
Didn't know ghosts can have rebonded hair.
So pretty.
In the end, the ghost took away the girl.
Because the ghost kept claiming that all she needs is the girl.
Sounds like they are lesbians.
Both of them died.
End of story.

I hope this post is long enough, by making it seem long with a quizilla quiz.
And I hope that after reading this quiz, it'll make you understand Me, Princess Cassie, as a person better. Lol.
The bold sentences are the true sentences, about myself; the normal font ones are not.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch much TV these days.
I love olives.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses. ( i have them, is that counted?)
I love to play video games.
I've watched porn movie.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe that honesty is the best policy.
I curse sometimes. (everytime actually)
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
I hate the rain.
I'm paranoid at times.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
I have worn fake hair / fingernails / eyelashes in the past.

I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way that I look.
I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I think prostitution should be legalized ( i didn't know it was illegal awrite).
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.

I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
I'm obsessed with my blog.
I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I like someone.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
I have at least 5 away messages saved.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before (it's alcohol, not drugs).
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I have avoided assignments at work/school to blog.
I enjoy some country music.
I would die for my best friends.
I think Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I watch soap operas whenever I can.
I'm obsessive and often a perfectionist.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I like surveys.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car (SLEEP, that is).
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
I believe in prophetic dreams.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.

I'm proficient on a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules (duh, it keeps me alive, it washes my clothes, bla bla)
I went to college out of state.
I am adopted.
I like sausage.
I have thrown up from crying too much.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colors.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I think school is awesome.
I think pigtails serve a purpose.

I dont know why the hell i did this thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I don't like multi-textured ice cream.
I love coaching youth sports.
I can pick up things with my toes.

I cant whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie!!
I read trashy romance novels and I am ashamed.
I love wrestling.
If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
I'm an artist (if you talk bout doddling on a foolscap paper, that is.)
I have a goal to collect every Johnny Depp movie ever made.
I have an unhealthy Taco Bell obsession.
I have a crush on a cartoon character when i was young.
I have spent more on anime and manga than many spend on computers or other high end products.
I only clean my room when neccesary.
I have pointy-ended ears.
I have underwear every colour of the rainbow.
I love korean dramas.
(only da4 chang2 jin1)
I colour-code my wardrobe.
I own more than 20 pairs of shoes.
I cry silently and get over things easily and quickly.
I love blasting linkin park at mum whenever she nags.
I love listening to jay chou music.
I love watching cartoons.
I love lame jokes.
I wish I was a tragic hero.
I hate one of my best friends but s/he has no idea.

I hope you have known me as a person better now.
If you haven't, I suggest you interview me.

The University of Blogging

Presents to
Princess Cassie

An Honorary
Bachelor of
Bad Poetry

Majoring in
Dr. GoQuiz.com


Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com


7:02 PM;

{Saturday, April 08, 2006}

FUCK. I'm so pissed.
It has been a bloody long time since I've used the four letter word.
My parents went out for a bloody FENG FEI FEI concert.
I went for A MATHS tuition, so I had to go home myself.
My tuition ended at 7pm, so no condo bus.
Had to freaking wait for slow coached Bus No. 38.

I must bloody make them pay for this man.
Imagine you yourself walking down a long, deserted path with trees towering over you.
And you have to tolerate all this nonsense just because your parents went out for a concert.

I know you're gaping at this.
How could a princess swear, you ask.
I think even royalties have their own bad days, so pardon me.

8:28 PM;

{Thursday, April 06, 2006}

I was just reading through my really olden posts.
Some were just downright mushy lah.
Now then I realized.
I read some of the posts, and laughed at the titles.
The titles were weird, I admit.
I could not even believe that it was me who posted the entries!

One Example:
Stars are twinkling bright at night
It seemed so familiar to me
The shining tapestry
My love for you glimmers like the stars
Except it will be the brightest of the bright
Musical notes wavering through the skies
A silhouette of a piano sits nearby
The undying notes of the music
Will revolve around you
As long as I live my life
As I sit alone by the boundless skies
My only shadow that accompanies me
Wishing that you will stand by me
Like the shadow
That will never leave
Gazing upon the stars
Once upon a time I prayed
Wishing that you will be the other part of me
Living the rest of our lives together
Till eternity
I guess I'll just leave it to fate
But if it wasn't meant to be you
I'll just wait

I cringed when I read that.
What a beautiful flashback. (Lol. That was censored. Replaced by that poem.)
And some of the poems I created were speechlessly mushy too.

Anyway, back to the present.
I feel that I'm a really fortunate princess who has so many darlings with her.
Sometimes I feel so sinful, wanting all the perfect things in the world.
But life is short and we must treasure it.
So whenever I feel down, I'll just try and tell myself all these.
To prevent myself from doing anything silly.
I feel that I'm really unique, you know.
When I was young, my grandmother told me that I was really special and lucky.
Special in the sense that I have loads of birthmarks and a pair of deep-set dimples.
Lucky in the sense that once I was born, I have a father who drives a car.
I really love my grandparents.
Looking back, they were the ones who took care of me when I was a baby.
My grandfather even went to an extent that he bought live frogs to kill them for their legs because my legs were really weak when I was small. (Yeah, I ate them, innocently thinking I was eating chicken wings.)
My grandmother actually cried for days when I was sent back to my parents for school.
I love them to bits.
What about my parents, you ask.
Actually my mom do care about me.
My father too.
I can sense it sometimes.

I believe, we all have
One true love
Somewhere in this world
I do
And it seemed
All my dreams were falling through
I found myself
When I found you
I found
The closest thing to heaven
Yes I knew
I found
The deepest love I knew
I believe, yes it's true
I found myself
When I found you.

I adore my mushiness.
No lah.
It's just a song.

I really envy Cheng-jun ge and Jingshu in Stairway to Heaven.
They are so loving and perfect.
Especially when they were young.
Even if you didn't watch the movie, just see the pictures and you'll know.
Can the piano music and the photos make you cry?
So touching lah.

Freak, it's just a fairytale made up by movie directors.
If only life was this perfect.

7:18 PM;

{Sunday, April 02, 2006}

I know.
I have not been posting these few days.
I think I will not post that often like olden days, but I will try to.
I will not upset my dear readers. =)
Even if I don't post that often, you should take up the opportunity to gaze at the currently heavenly blogskin before I change back to my old, pinkish, princessy one. =))
I can't stand my blogskin.
The pictures are so beautiful.

Today was a memorable day for me.
I went out with Xiao Ting and Cindy for lunch.
When I came home, I ding-donged as usual.
Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-ding-ding-dong.
Still no answer.
Frustrated, I called home.
No answer.
I called Mummy's handphone.
No answer.
I called Papa's handphone.
Got answer.
"Nevermind lah, you wait okay."
And so I waited outside the house.
For 1 hour and a half.
I was walking to and fro in the corridor.
I sat on the doorstep and fiddled with my handphone.
I smsed.
Many thoughts flooded my mind then.
Where did they go? Usually they don't go out on Sundays.
Then, the rain started to pour.
Heavy rain.
It seemed as if Heaven is sympathizing with me.
The lift came to life several times, but it was my neighbour.
It was the first time I saw my neighbour.
They are Koreans, and kind people too.
In simple English: "You want come my house?"

The lift door opened.
My brother stepped out.
He saw me.
I looked at him.
He said, "Eh? Open the door leh."
I said,"Huh? Where did you all go?"
He said,"We went swimming."
Then my mom came.
She laughed and said,"Why didn't you think we'll go swimming?"
It was raining.

I was damn pissed.
And so, I went to the gym to vent off my frustrations.
I burnt 200 calories.

I dunno why, but I feel fat these few days.
I dunno why, but I feel so stressed these few days too.

Anyway, I wish Xiao Qian a very happy birthday today.
May you find your prince charming soon. =)
Love ya.

10:40 PM;

be with myself


cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
triumphs and singing of the heart

in center


Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.


Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons


*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles


amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains


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