heart on wings

{Saturday, March 25, 2006}

"You stupid girl, when are you coming back for tuition."
My mom's sms disturbed my handphone.
I went to Escape Theme Park today, to celebrate Xiao Ting's bday. (belated)
I was pissed when I read that sms.
How could a mother treat her daughter this way?
When she asked me to call her, she was like, "Where the hell did u die today?"

I told Amelin about this, and she suspected that I may be an adopted child or something.
But I think it's because she favours boys more than girls? Coz' girls marry off into another family. Anyway, I got to know why she was treating me like that.

I feel so terrible after knowing why.
I came to know that while I was having fun at Escape Theme Park, my mom and brother were both suffering under the 'torture' of my dad.
Both of them complained about how my dad is accumulating many tanks of fishes in the living room, despite the allocated space for a small fountain. You see, my house is small, but my dad is so psycho about fishes that he does this.
My mom threatened to throw away all the fish food and all, and the next moment, my dad blew up.
He pushed my mom and they got into a fight. Belt, smacks and whacks. I shall not elaborate further. He did that to my brother too.
On top of this, he threatened to file for a divorce.
And threatened to throw us out of the house.

Ohmygod.
I almost cried when I heard it from my brother.
How can my father say that to my mom?
All because of fishes?
He should understand very well that there isn't enough space to put many fish tanks. He should be very happy already, as my mom let him have a space for a fountain. But he wants more.

I long for a happy family.

Please.
I don't want a family, shattered into pieces.
I wish for a loving, caring and perfect family.

Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk.
Because of you, I learnt to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt.
Because of you, I find it hard to trust, not only me, but everyone around me.
Because of you, I am afraid.

9:03 PM;

be with myself

Affirmation

cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
sincerity..
triumphs and singing of the heart

in center

clarity


Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.

peace

Independence
Health
Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons
Love
Faith
Happiness

serenity.


*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles

.::.

Cousin
amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains


.::.

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Credits: momotea, larafairie.
Images: Foto decadent, deviantart.
Since 31st March'06
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