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I know you despise me.
You. The one staring at my blog.
I know you do.
You're secretly sniggering away after reading my Common Test results, aren't I right.
You're celebrating with confettis and stuff, aren't I right.
You're pretending to sympathize with me, but actually, you are happy for me, aren't I right.
You may say I'm thinking too much, and I can't deny that I am.
But who in the world will really sympathize with me?
Unless you're living in a slacker environment.
I cried after my form teacher gave the slip of paper to me.
It was horrifically filled with underlines. (For those whose asses are yet to be found, underlines mean a fail.)
I cried more when people tried to comfort me.
Because I was really afraid whether they are really sympathizing with me or not.
"At least you have an A1."
"At least you're better than me."
I really dunno.
It's really hard to think positive.
I remembered I studied 1 and a half weeks before the Common Test.
It's really hard to feel comforted by your friends.
Yes, they make you contented a minute, but the next, you'll feel the same again.
To me, my results slip is as worthless as a piece of toilet paper.
I almost wanted to tear it away.
I mean, who doesn't want to do well?
I know it's no use crying over split milk.
But, I'm not going to let myself off.
I have let myself down terribly.
And, to make up for it, I would submit myself to self-torture.
I really do worship it.
It makes one feel motivated.
Best of all, it lightens the bottled up frustrations inside one's mind.Do I really have to slog my guts out, to achieve pretty grades?I really think I do.