heart on wings

{Monday, March 27, 2006}

English - C6
Chinese - C6
A.Maths - A1
E.Maths - A1
Biology - B3
Chemistry - E8
Physics - B3
Combined Humanities - B4

I know you despise me.
You. The one staring at my blog.
I know you do.
You're secretly sniggering away after reading my Common Test results, aren't I right.
You're celebrating with confettis and stuff, aren't I right.
You're pretending to sympathize with me, but actually, you are happy for me, aren't I right.
You may say I'm thinking too much, and I can't deny that I am.
But who in the world will really sympathize with me?
Unless you're living in a slacker environment.

I cried after my form teacher gave the slip of paper to me.
It was horrifically filled with underlines. (For those whose asses are yet to be found, underlines mean a fail.)
I cried more when people tried to comfort me.
Because I was really afraid whether they are really sympathizing with me or not.
"At least you have an A1."
"At least you're better than me."
I really dunno.
It's really hard to think positive.
I remembered I studied 1 and a half weeks before the Common Test.
It's really hard to feel comforted by your friends.
Yes, they make you contented a minute, but the next, you'll feel the same again.
To me, my results slip is as worthless as a piece of toilet paper.
I almost wanted to tear it away.

I mean, who doesn't want to do well?
Everybody does.
I know it's no use crying over split milk.
But, I'm not going to let myself off.
I have let myself down terribly.
And, to make up for it, I would submit myself to self-torture.
I really do worship it.
It makes one feel motivated.
Best of all, it lightens the bottled up frustrations inside one's mind.

Do I really have to slog my guts out, to achieve pretty grades?
I really think I do.

6:19 PM;

be with myself

Affirmation

cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
sincerity..
triumphs and singing of the heart

in center

clarity


Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.

peace

Independence
Health
Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons
Love
Faith
Happiness

serenity.


*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles

.::.

Cousin
amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains


.::.

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Credits: momotea, larafairie.
Images: Foto decadent, deviantart.
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