Sorry for this entry, but.
Nothing is perfect in this world. Life is always full of ups and downs, like a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes the ride is so soothing that you squeal in excitement; sometimes it is so bumpy and uncomfortable that it puts you off. Sometimes, you even cry in fear, because of the threatening big bump during the ride. And even sometimes, you cry all the way during the ride because there's nobody sitting beside you to comfort you. Sometimes, you even wish you didn't try the ride at all.
I think I'm immune to all of the above. I don't even feel a thing now, except endless numbing pains. They are irritating, yet painful. Yes, I'm putting on a brave front. People just do not know my smiles and laughter are sometimes a cover-up.
A scoop of ice cream tastes so saccharine sweet when you first put it into your mouth. It melts and dissolves into a delicious liquid. After many scoops of it, the sweetness is different. It tastes sickly sweet. You wanna stop eating it, but you can't make yourself to do it. In the end, what you tasted made you sick. You hate yourself for it, but it can't be helped. All you can do now is to punish yourself, and stop eating.
How I wish I could be an innocent baby forever. Or a little girl. That way I would be free of worries and be happy always.