heart on wings

{Thursday, October 27, 2005}

Dear Diar2,

I'm feeling no better these days. All because of next year. Bloody hell.

Everyone's going separate ways, I guess. They are going to pure science class. Bleh. I hate science. Just thinking of 3 PURE science subjects make me wanna puke and suffocate and die. Dying would be so much better than having to cope with pure science subjects, plus the pressure from heartless teachers and a group of nerdy and over-competitive people. Yes, as my form teacher said, the environment there would be much more condusive as compared to 3c/d because of the people over there. I was thinking that if you put your heart and soul into the subjects you chose, there's no need to fret over whether the environment is condusive or not. Sigh, but the friends would be different. I don't wanna be separated with my friends. My closest friends whom I endured thick and thin through together. My darlings, honeys, sweetie-pies, cutie-pies. I would lose them all. Different class. Different people. Different friends. Even if I make new friends, it would not be the same as my old friends.

I guess I have to face up to the fact that friends come and go.

But I would still miss them. I would miss my friends, and 2A.
It's so funny. I would even miss those people whom I rarely talk to in 2A.

My mom says that looking at the subjects I chose, I would be going to the Arts stream. C'mon, what's so wrong with the arts stream? If it's so wrong, why do they wanna offer it to us in the first place? Why must people be so narrow-minded as to think that going to the Science stream would ensure a good and better future then those people opting for the Arts stream? Hello, not everyone can cope with science subjects and people may be born and destined to go to the Arts stream. They may be so good in the Arts stream that they produce even better results than the Science stream. Let's see who has the last laugh. Even if I go to pure science class, and I turn mad and go bonkers, I would still drop to normal class what. And some people are so freaking narrow-minded to think that combined science, physics/chemistry is a useless subject. Okay, if it's a useless subject, why do people do better in it then people doing pure sciences?

People should think twice before saying that combined science is useless, less things to cover, and it is almost like the sec2 textbook, and that it would be difficult to go to a JC.
Okay, so go ahead to pure sciences. BUT do not ever, ever drop it at the last minute. You would be better off dead. I would be the one laughing at you, because it was you who made the decision to go pure sciences, and end up dropping it. Haha. That would be so funny.

So anyways, I'm dead serious about going to 3c/d. But I'm gonna have problems with the social environment. Other than that, I think I would be okay.

To mom: Hello? If you think arts stream is not good and you snigger at me when you see what I chose for the subject combination, I'm going to tell you this: I'm not going to be a doctor or a researcher or a scientist in future. So what for going to the science stream and be suicidal about it?


no matter how i wait
i can't go
like a dummy crying
without you noticing
are you telling me to leave?
i miss you
i miss you to the point where i hate myself
i want to cry
i want to kneel down
if only everything didnt happen
searching the memories where i loved you crazily
those memories haunt me
but i can't hide from this love any longer
i shouldn't do this
but i miss you to death

8:39 PM;

be with myself


cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
triumphs and singing of the heart

in center


Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.


Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons


*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles


amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains


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