heart on wings

{Thursday, September 29, 2005}

Dear Diar2,

Forgive me for this gloomy, sadistic entry. Nobody's life is perfect, so do not blame me for making you feel negative after reading this. Please, I need to vent out all my sadness that's overwhelming me. But before I do that, for those cheery filled-with-happiness people who are reading this now, I suggest that you better think twice before reading this.








So you chose to read this. Be prepared for the worst.

You see, my life isn't always perfect. There are lots of ups and downs. At times, I may be hyper and cheerful and full of life, but sometimes, I can also be pessimistic and depressed.

There are many reasons as to why I can be pessimistic and depressed when you often see me in a cheerful and happy mood.

Reason #1: I may be stressed out because major exams are coming.

Reason #2: Because I saw some things I wasn't supposed to see, or to know.

Reason #3: I fell out with my friends.

Reason #4: People snapping at me.

Reason #5: Family problems.

Reason #6: When I do not know how to do my homework.

Reason #7: When I do badly for any tests/exams.

Reason #8: Friends saying things that will piss me off.

Reason #9: Surrounding people irritating me.

Reason #10: Or, just having PMS.

Whatever reasons I have is valid. So don't blame me when I have a bad day and fall out with everybody.





Suddenly, all of the above reasons seem to apply to me now. That's why I'm feeling doown.
Show me some care and concern if you can.

Sadistic Poem to end the day

Showering under the downpours of the rain
Gazing through the hazy window, I can see myself ahead
Looking up the innocent sky
Dotted with sinister-looking glints
I walked ahead, following the trail of vision
Slow and hesitant footsteps
Were the last my ears heard
The next came, and heaven awaited
A bang and a crash
Were a heavenly ringing in my ears
Unfamiliar red liquid flowed out of me
My eyes were a blurred mystery
Then, it gained vision
And there he was
Endearing and lovely
Drifting off to the familiar demeanour
There I was
In God's beautiful embrace.

Rest in Peace

Stiffly lain in her intricate jewel box
What was left of her
Precious memories lay deep within
The withered, old remains
The fragile and decomposed bones
Tell her story in an unhappy tone
She has shed endless tears
That has drowned her
She has endured all pains
It brought unforgettable tortures to her brain
She wanted to end it all
But was afraid
She didn't want to leave
Without seeing him
In the end
After a long, awaited dilemma
After thinking of all the odds
After thinking that nobody loves her anymore
She chose the path of death.

`x0x0``
muacks**

Skies are dark it's time for rain
Final call, get board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye and ask the days
Wipe the tears you had to face
Blinded by the sorrow
How can I be smiling like before
When baby you don't love me anymore...
Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I'm only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so...

6:15 PM;

be with myself

Affirmation

cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
sincerity..
triumphs and singing of the heart

in center

clarity


Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.

peace

Independence
Health
Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons
Love
Faith
Happiness

serenity.


*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles

.::.

Cousin
amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains


.::.

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Images: Foto decadent, deviantart.
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