heart on wings

{Sunday, September 18, 2005}

Dear Diar2,

First of all, I must apologize for not blogging so often...

Sorry!

School has started, of course, after 1 week of september holidays. Bad news...bad news.
End of year examinations is just round the corner.

I feel that studies is much more important than this, what with the final year examinations coming and all. I'm getting so lot depressed lately, partly because of my academic results and my family thingy and all. I'm so depressed... couldn't someone just lend a shoulder for me to cry on? I'm sick of pretending that I'm happy and cheerful and all, and deep down, deep inside my shattered bloody heart, I'm tolerating all the pains I can't erase. Yet no one notices this and still, everyday, I tolerate people, people whom I hate and discriminate against, those few... they critisize me, they whisper bad shitty things about me, why can't they just disappear from my world? They add to the pains and frustrations I'm feeling deep down inside. Then comes the bloody heartbreaking pain I must tolerate. My family background. I can't tell you much on this, it's too personal. Next comes the academic results. Although I improved since the last common test, it didn't meet to my expectations.

And the list goes on...

The list of heartbreaking events I must tolerate.

I'm so afraid that one day I can't tolerate all this anymore and next day, the news headlines say...

"Teenage girl bled to death in her house"

I hope that it won't happen.

`x0x0``
muacks**

I appreciate all those people who love me. Maybe they are the ones who will keep me going. Lurve you loads!

Poem for mooncake festival

Chang-e: Alone I pine
It's been eternity since I last seen him
Alone I weep
The breathless atmosphere accompanies me
Insane tears of joy
Broken shadows of laughter
Shattered illusions of dreams
All pieced up together
To form a torn, shattered me.

I know it sucks. Just don't say it in front of me.
Last-minute inspiration. 1-minute work.
What more can you ask for?

3:59 PM;

be with myself

Affirmation

cappucino on a rainy day,
snuggles in the warmth of blankets,
hot food in the arms of hunger,
huge umbrella of a stranger,
embraces in the rain,
smiles amidst frowns,
sincerity..
triumphs and singing of the heart

in center

clarity


Raindrops like candlewax
Drowning in a
Solid sculpture, you Burning and cold.

peace

Independence
Health
Baking skills
Yoga/Electone lessons
Love
Faith
Happiness

serenity.


*HUGS* TOTAL! *HUGGIES* snuggles & cuddles

.::.

Cousin
amelin =)
fiona =)
ke*hua =)
edwin =)
sim*yee =)
yi*chen =)
anna =)
♥ trains


.::.

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Credits: momotea, larafairie.
Images: Foto decadent, deviantart.
Since 31st March'06
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